Psychological Health Encyclopedia (Revised Edition)

Author: Zhu Yuelong
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-11-01
Features: Research has found that only 5% of people worldwide meet health standards, while over 75% are in a state between health and disease, known as the "sub-health state." The main factor contributing to this state is psychological issues. Research has found that only 5% of people worldwide meet health standards, while over 75% are in a state between health and disease, known as the "sub-health state." The main factor contributing to this state is psychological issues. The five major features of this book are simplicity, comprehensiveness, breadth, authority, and effectiveness. The entire book uses simple cases to help readers experience psychology through vivid examples, appreciate the charm of psychology, and thus spark interest and establish a systematic understanding of psychology. This book covers most of the practical content in psychology, benefiting both professionals and non-professionals.
Section on Comparison Psychology
A humorous poem once went like this: "The world is full of inequalities, some ride fine horses while others ride donkeys. Looking back, I see men pushing carts, neither better off nor worse off." Bill Gates, the world's wealthiest person, also said, "Humans are born unequal." Since inequality exists, the gap between people becomes obvious in comparisons. Looking at others and comparing them to oneself often leads to resentment and melancholy, losing one's own good mood. Where does comparison come from? Some families are wealthy and live in luxury, while others have empty cabinets and meager supplies. Some hold immense power, commanding the winds and rains, while others push carts and speak cautiously. Some live in grand mansions, drive luxury cars, and have beautiful wives, while others have plain wives, small plots of land, and worn-out cotton clothes. The same life, different lifestyles, often evoke many reflections in people's hearts. If one compares with someone better off and takes them as a role model to learn from, that is naturally a good thing. Through comparison, one can recognize their shortcomings and then improve and correct them, which is a very meaningful comparison. But the problem is that often, after seeing others' good qualities, one doesn't start to study and work hard but instead constantly blames oneself, even believing oneself to be good for nothing.
Psychologist's Notes
A patient worked as a civil servant in a government agency, living a quiet and contented life. One day, he received a call from a high school classmate about a reunion. After ten years apart, he went with joy. His former classmate, a successful businessman, lived in a mansion, drove a luxury car, and exuded an air of success. After the reunion, the patient felt bitter and changed. He sighed all day, complaining to everyone about his troubles. He thought, "That classmate always failed exams but now has so much money. I'll never be able to afford a Mercedes, no matter how long I save." His colleagues tried to comfort him, saying, "We work in offices; if we have money, we don't need to buy cars." But he remained unhappy and even became bedridden due to his psychological distress before seeking psychological treatment.
Sometimes, seeing others get married with grand cars and flowers, he felt wronged, thinking back to his own wedding with just a few fruits and sugar, hastily marrying his husband. Seeing others promoted at work while he remained stagnant, he felt bitter, comparing himself to a hibernating bear stuck at home. During holidays, seeing others giving lavish gifts, he grew envious of their "war without west front" and "quiet Don River" while his own family was left behind. Seeing others' children excel while his own was stubborn and lackluster, he felt resentful. Some even envied movie stars, admiring their constant fame and applause, believing they were free from pain. In reality, failure knows no north or south; celebrities also have pains unseen or unfeared by ordinary people. In daily life, who doesn't show only their shining side to others? As the saying goes, "Comparing people kills the spirit." In fact, comparing people isn't the issue; it's those who get angry from comparisons due to their own personality and psychological flaws, fostering inferiority complexes.
Sometimes, if one steps back, many things in life don't need to be taken too seriously. If one does, it only leads to self-torture without any positive outcome. Life differences are everywhere, and the desire for comparison is so hard to overcome, often reducing life's joy. But if people can adopt a different mindset, not focusing on their weaknesses when comparing to others' strengths, they won't feel so burdened. Lowering one's gaze, learning to look down, and comparing downward can bring more joy and satisfaction to life.
Comparison Culture on Campus
The Ningbo Evening News published an article titled "Luxury Spending Among University Students Surprises People," reporting that students now spend over 1,000 yuan per month. Some students admit that some expenses are unnecessary, such as dining out with friends. A university student said, "I don't want to spend so much, but when others treat me to meals, I feel awkward not treating them back!" A student once felt ashamed not to own a mobile phone like others, so he asked his parents for money to buy one for over 1,000 yuan, while his parents were living on laid-off wages and struggling to make ends meet with odd jobs. In reality, buying a mobile phone or dining out offers little help to students. With the increasingly severe job market, students who develop extravagant spending habits in school will struggle to adapt to the harsh realities of society later.
Beware of Children's Comparison Psychology
Which parent doesn't love their child, want them to dress better and trendier than others? Some parents are unwilling to fall behind others and try to satisfy their children's every desire. With improving living standards, parents can now provide material foundations for comparison. Today, whether in primary or university, some degree of comparison psychology exists. Some children compare material wealth, such as whose clothes are branded, whose pencil cases are fancy, or who spends money more freely. Others compare family conditions, like whose house is bigger, whose parents hold higher positions, whose cars are better, or whose household items are more luxurious. Some even compare appearances, achievements, or who is favored by teachers.
A child often cried about not wanting to go to school. When asked why, he said his classmate's backpack was beautiful, while his was an old one left by his older brother. His mother, to coax him, promised to buy a new backpack. A few days later, the child refused to go to school again because his classmate had a high-end robot toy, while he didn't. The loving mother, with no choice, bought another new backpack again.
Psychologist's Reminder
Children's comparison psychology...