Women also need dreams: Ideals change women's lives

Author: (American) Philes
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-12-01
Features: Since relationships do not exist, female gender does not exist either. Especially in romantic heterosexual relationships. Without a defined relationship, it is difficult to say a woman is truly feminine. This may help explain why women often feel disappointed about marriage—extensive data shows that once married, women's workload inevitably increases, while their mental and physical health deteriorates; 50% of married women suffer the pain of divorce and lose custody of their children. However, marriage is indeed a symbol. If a woman of marriageable age is not married, her gender characteristics will forever be questioned by herself and those around her. The second principle of femininity, as listed by BSRI, is that a woman must do something for someone else in the relationship. This person could be a lover, child, sick parent, husband, or even a boss. The main definition of femininity is giving. This includes many forms of service, from sexual behavior to picking up dry cleaning to emotional support. As I will discuss, another important contribution women make to others is recognition. In contrast, the definition of masculinity does not require relationships or selflessness. In fact, masculinity is the opposite of femininity. You can maintain masculinity while single. Bachelors do not face sexual scrutiny, and the meaning is obvious—they are even more attractive at this time. BSRI describes masculinity with the following adjectives: independent, strong-willed, powerful, self-reliant, good at analysis, upholding beliefs, physically fit, firm, leadership-oriented, willing to take risks, decisive, self-sufficient, dominant, steadfast, proactive, leader-like, individualistic, competitive, and ambitious. "Others" only appear when their opinions differ. Men can not only possess masculinity while single but also risk their sexual characteristics once placed in an open-dependent or influenced relationship (in fact, all relationships involve mutual influence). In contrast, we find that English vocabulary to describe women is very rich, such as: virgin, spinster, widow, lady, housewife, prostitute, or mistress, etc. However, there are no corresponding words specifically describing a man's marital status, nor words to distinguish young men from married men, such as how we call young women "misses" and married women "ladies." A woman's marital status and the relationships she is in can be expressed in various words because these are important gender characteristics of a woman. In recent years, educated women have appeared more "masculine" than before, but they have not abandoned their feminine traits. For example, these young women have achieved their goals—becoming experts in certain fields, gaining colleagues' recognition, having some management power, and having a good financial situation. But we are not clear what this means for their actual lives. As one study author noted, "Successfully achieving the goals they desire can only help us understand their early personal lives, but it does not help us understand those closely related to their career goals."