Patient's question:
I have been dating my boyfriend for 4 years. Until a few days ago, we had our first real sexual experience. Before that, I had always used my hands out of fear of pain. I always used my hands to make him feel comfortable. This time, we actually had sex, but neither of us felt comfortable. He didn't feel comfortable at all, and neither did I. Then we tried it several more times, but nothing made either of us feel good. Why is that? Do we have any diseases?Follow-up question 1: Should I be concerned that using my hands was more forceful, and will we never enjoy sex in the future?
Follow-up question 2: What should we do? Will we never be able to
Doctor's answer:
You haven't eliminated the fear of pain in your mind, and there was no foreplay to build sexual arousal beforehand, leading to doubts about the quality of sex. Helping your boyfriend solve problems with your hands is essentially masturbation, which reduces your sensitivity to sexual stimuli. Your lack of climax is temporary, and it will gradually return in the future. If your boyfriend experiences no pleasure, there is an issue. If this continues, it's recommended to see a doctor—don't delay it too long.