Helping Journey and Skills. Revised Edition

Author: Huang Huihui
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-10-01
Features: Helping is a relationship. With a person seeking help and a person offering help, the act of helping arises between them. This fundamental concept explains that helping behavior is a form of "relationship." To understand what "helping" is, we must understand what a "helping relationship" is. A "helping relationship" refers to a relationship where two individuals work together to resolve one person's difficulties, with the aim of enhancing the person's abilities, overcoming life's challenges, or making more effective decisions to promote their growth. Therefore, these two people are working for one person, so the helping relationship is not entirely reciprocal or mutual. It is for the benefit of the person being helped (the person seeking help), not for the benefit of the person offering help. It differs from a friendship, where both parties can freely share what they think, what interests them, or what they are concerned about, and can also give each other enthusiastic advice and suggestions. Of course, it is also unlike a second meeting between two completely strangers. Helping behavior or a helping relationship is a purposeful interaction, either to solve a problem or to encourage further development. Compared to a general friendship, the helper has more responsibilities. Friendships involve more personal emotions, making it difficult to be objective; whereas professional helpers should strive to be objective and use purposeful, directed methods to assist others. For example, Miss A has emotional difficulties and talks to her good friend Miss B, compared to seeking help from a professional helper (such as a psychological counselor or social worker). It is clear that the tone, manner, and process of their conversation are different. Miss B will listen and ask questions, give Miss A advice and share her own perspectives. She is concerned and interested in Miss A's problems, as well as interested in sharing her own experiences. For instance, if Miss A has a disagreement or misunderstanding with her boyfriend, Miss B may also curse her boyfriend while listening, feel indignant for Miss A, and share her own experiences with her boyfriend. She may also tell Miss A about her own arguments or unpleasant experiences with her boyfriend, and may even give subjective opinions or advice about Miss A's emotions. In a professional helping relationship, the helper is concerned and interested in the person seeking help but does not have an interest in revealing herself. She will not take the opportunity to talk about her own experiences with her boyfriend unless such disclosure is beneficial to the counseling. In contrast, the feedback given by the helper is always specific and meaningful—clarifying feelings, confirming contradictions, formulating specific goals and plans, and enhancing behavioral change. Therefore, the helping relationship is unlike the personal emotional involvement in a friendship, lacking mutual disclosure and advice. This makes it easier for the person seeking help to understand themselves, see themselves clearly, and take more responsibility for their own change—giving themselves advice, planning, and implementing it. Helping is a process. Helping work, of course, has its purpose—to guide the person being counseled toward growth goals, to solve problems and enhance their ability to face crises. But the most important