Harmony Created Through Reason and Emotion: My 20 Years as a Principal

Author: Li Shoumin
Publisher:
Publishing Time: Not Available
Features: The Story of Two Apples
Early love among students is an undeniable fact in middle school. With the general improvement in living standards, students are maturing earlier. Junior high students are at the beginning of their, and having feelings for the opposite sex is a normal psychological phenomenon for adolescents in this age group. I have expressed my views to teachers many times, advocating an eight-character policy on the issue of "early love": "Close attention, turn a blind eye."
By "close attention," I mean teachers should be aware of the psychological needs and changes of every student in this regard, allowing them to develop healthily. By "turning a blind eye," I mean that normal attractions, intimacy, and friendships between male and female students should not be viewed with suspicion, nor should they cause alarm or unjust blame. I often think that life is fleeting, and the first emotional encounter with the opposite sex is often the purest in one's lifetime. We have all been through it. When people reach their 40s or 50s and look back on their youth, those innocent feelings often become some of the most beautiful and sweet memories of their lives.
That said, it is difficult to put this into practice. One day, I went to the office of the third-year teachers and overheard Lu and Pei discussing something mysterious. Upon investigation, I learned the full story: a very outstanding girl in the third year had fallen for a "troublemaker" with poor academic performance. It was said that the two students spent time together as soon as class ended. I also heard that on the girl's birthday, the boy even gave her a pair of 400 yuan shoes, which she "happily" accepted. The homeroom teacher had already talked to both of them separately, but neither paid any attention. It seemed that the situation had reached a point where "turning a blind eye" was no longer possible.
As the principal, witnessing the homeroom teacher's helplessness, I felt it was time to intervene and engage in a conversation with both of them to guide their thoughts.
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The girl's name was Zhang Yi, a beautiful student who served as the class representative and was also the head of the Chinese language class. She had recently joined the Communist Youth League. Her mother worked at Jiao Tong University and had some acquaintance with me. So, I first approached Zhang Yi.
"You've had your birthday recently, right?" I asked.
"Yes," she replied.
"I heard Wang Xiaojun gave you a pair of really nice shoes?" I asked directly.
The girl's face flushed instantly, and she avoided answering directly.
"Many people give me birthday gifts," she said.
"But do you think a girl accepting such an expensive gift from a boy wouldn't feel anything unusual?"
"Principal Li, you're being too mystical," she said, awkwardly rubbing her hands together.
"Pay attention, though. When a girl grows up, shouldn't she think about whether she should accept gifts from others?" I asked her in a friendly tone.
The girl didn't speak, but I could see from her eyes that she was asking me: What should I do now?
Clearly, she had realized that she had handled the situation too carelessly.
I her thoughts and said, "You know, Wang Xiaojun is stubborn. If I help you return the gift, he won't be able to handle it. You're smart—you must know how to handle this."
To express my understanding of the situation, I casually talked to her about some schoolwork and class matters. The girl left with confidence and a smile.
The next evening, it was my turn for duty. After the evening study session, I went to the dormitory to check. Room 208 was occupied by boys from the third year (2), including Wang Xiaojun. As I entered, an apple flew from a corner of the room and hit my foot.
"Who?" There was no sound in the room; everyone was looking down.
It seemed they all knew who had thrown the apple, but no one wanted to betray their classmate.
I picked up the half-rotten apple from the ground and threw it into the trash bin, without thinking about who had thrown it or whether it was intentional or accidental. I only said,
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"Don't throw things around!"
After checking Room 208, I was about to go to another dormitory when another apple flew from behind and hit my calf, causing me a sharp pain.
Turning around, I saw Wang Xiaojun staring at me intently.
Then I remembered—it must have been the result of my conversation with the girl.
I was about to scold him, but the habit of a long-time teacher made me suppress the anger rising in me.
"Time to sleep," I said, as if nothing had happened, and closed the door.
Later, both of them graduated. Wang Xiaojun went to a vocational school, while the girl attended a key high school. Three years later, she was admitted to a key university. After that, whether at class reunions or school anniversary events, I never saw Wang Xiaojun at school again. Some classmates said he had already started working and had a girlfriend, while others said he was afraid of seeing Principal Li again.
Perhaps he still kept those two apples in mind.
However, what he might not understand is that "tolerance" is the most basic principle of being a teacher.
I don't know if Wang Xiaojun will visit his alma mater at the next school anniversary, or if the boy and girl will reunite again.
If I have the chance to meet them, I will ask them about the story behind those two apples in a relaxed manner. I will also be even more open with them about my true thoughts as a teacher and an elder toward boys and girls. Maybe it will bring back sweet memories of their junior high life and those innocent, hazy feelings.
The emotions of young men and women are pure and beautiful. Therefore, when a child is hurt by naive feelings and throws an apple at you, you really should understand them more.
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