The Secret That Men of Great Achievements Must Realize: Machinations

Author: Chen Taixian
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-10-01
Features:
3. A good friend is a valuable ally, while a bad friend brings harm. Everyone has friends, but friends come in various types. Some can only be general friends. A simple greeting is considered good; some can be mutually respected and respected. They are good at chatting and sharing thoughts but not good at cooperation; some are close friends who can not only enjoy a thousand cups with like-minded individuals but also cooperate to achieve great things. Specifically, what kind of friend is a good friend, and what kind is a bad friend, requires men to have sharp eyes and choose beneficial people. As the saying goes, "More friends mean more paths." If a person has no friends, it's almost as if they have no path to follow, leading a lonely life. Moreover, even if one keeps their heart closed, there are still people who knock on the door. Of course, it's not easy to make good friends in life, and often one encounters bad friends. A bad friend is someone who pretends to be sincere to your face but betrays you behind your back. Therefore, as men navigate society, without a bit of "strategizing" for their own sake, they may find it difficult to achieve great things. It can be said that if a man makes poor friends, it will delay his happiness in life. Even if he lives a fulfilling life, he may be dragged down by his friends to the point of ruin, and in severe cases, he may face "prison" or even "death." Thus, when choosing friends, one must be cautious. Most men seek to associate with wealthy and powerful friends, hoping to benefit from their influence and even expecting to rise to prominence one day through "one person achieves enlightenment, and the whole family benefits." They are willing to climb the social ladder, flatter those in power, and borrow their prestige to enhance their own. They may even be willing to serve their powerful friends in every way, losing their personal integrity in the process. Such men will never achieve great things. In reality, men who truly understand the art of friendship often make friends who are beneficial to them. They value their friends' knowledge and cultivation, and their encouragement strengthens their confidence and drive to achieve great things. There are three types of beneficial friends: "honest people," "truthful people," and "well-educated people." Conversely, there are three types of harmful friends: "hypocritical people," "weak-willed people," and "flatterers who are skilled in debate." Confucius once said in the "Chapter on the Ji Family" (), "There are three types of beneficial friends and three types of harmful friends. To befriend a person who is upright, a person who is trustworthy, and a person who is knowledgeable is beneficial. To befriend a person who is insincere, a person who is overly accommodating, and a person who is smooth-tongued is harmful." This is a timeless warning. For over two thousand years, it has been valued by scholars both in China and abroad and has been regarded as the "golden rule" in academic circles. Objectively speaking, it is indeed difficult to define what constitutes a "beneficial friend" or a "harmful friend," and distinguishing between right and wrong is even harder. Especially when first meeting someone, there are no signs of their flaws or bad habits. From the perspective of simply making friends, even if a friend has certain shortcomings or behaves inappropriately, as long as one maintains principles in their own conduct, they are unlikely to be influenced by their friend. In fact, one can even take the opportunity to gently guide them or encourage them to reform and start anew. In interpersonal relationships, it is essential to motivate each other to improve with sincerity and a spirit of mutual assistance, maintaining harmonious and peaceful relationships. Moreover, one must always uphold their principles and autonomy and cannot