Being a person with knowledge: 21 laws for a harmonious life

Author: Wang Hongchun
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-05-01
Features: Never underestimate "conversation"; it is an indispensable part of interpersonal communication and even determines the success or effectiveness of interactions with others. So, if you also want to be a good conversationalist, the following suggestions from communication experts are essential:
1) Be skilled in using polite language. Politeness is the outward expression of respect for others and the guide that connects the hearts of those in conversation. People are very sensitive to politeness. Sometimes, even simple words like "you" or "please" can make others feel warm and close.
2) Don’t forget the purpose of the conversation. The purpose of conversation is usually one of the following: persuading the other person to correct a flaw; seeking advice on a question; asking the other person to complete a task; understanding the other person’s opinions on work; getting to know the other person’s psychological characteristics, and so on. A skilled communicator is never someone who talks aimlessly, goes off-topic, or wanders off subject.
3) Be patient in listening to the conversation and show interest. During conversation, be good at using your posture, expressions, interjections, and exclamation marks. Small actions like a slight smile or a nod of agreement can make the conversation more harmonious. Avoid looking around, being distracted, or occasionally glancing at your watch or stretching, as these are signs of boredom.
4) Be good at responding to the other person’s feelings. If the other person is particularly upset or troubled about something, you should first respond with empathy: "I understand how you feel. If I were in your shoes, I would feel the same way." This will make the other person feel that you respect their emotions, creating an atmosphere of sympathy and trust, and making your advice more likely to be effective.
5) Be good at putting yourself on the same level as the other person. Humans have a tendency to trust those they feel connected to. An experienced conversationalist always matches their tone, volume, and rhythm with the other person, even their posture, to create a sense of psychological compatibility. For example, sitting side by side creates a greater sense of commonality than sitting face-to-face. Sitting straight is more respectful than slouching.
On page 34, it is said that there are many things in life that we do not need, but because they are difficult to reach and require great effort, and there is no guarantee of success, we cherish them and consider them valuable. In the world, many things become worthless once they are easily obtained, and people discard them. Regardless of whether there is a lot or a little, their original value is reduced. What is truly good and precious in life? There are many explanations, but one thing is certain: those things that are often far away and difficult to reach are the most precious. Of course, these things are not always what we truly need. Therefore, cherishing is always full of unpredictable changes in life. For example, we often pay a great price to obtain something we cherish, but later we realize that this painstakingly acquired thing does not have the value we thought it had. In the end, we often discard or neglect these things, but they teach us to cherish and pursue. In life, it is precisely because we learn to cherish that we benefit in every way. In short, treat everything that is "rare" or "hard to get" as treasures, and cherish everything.