Helping Journey and Skills - (Revised Edition)

Author: Huang Huihui
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-10-01
Features: Helping is a relationship. With a person seeking help and a person offering help, the act of helping emerges between them. This fundamental concept explains that helping behavior is a type of "relationship." To understand what "helping" is, we must understand what a "helping relationship" is. A "helping relationship" refers to a situation where two individuals work together to resolve one person's difficulties, with the aim of enhancing the person's abilities, overcoming life's challenges, or making more effective decisions to promote their growth. Therefore, the two people are working primarily for the benefit of one individual (the person seeking help), so the helping relationship is not entirely reciprocal or mutually beneficial. It is for the benefit of the one being helped (the person seeking help), not for the benefit of the other (the person offering help). It differs from a friendship, where both parties can freely share their thoughts, interests, and concerns, and can offer enthusiastic advice and suggestions. Of course, it is also unlike a second meeting between two completely strangers. Helping behavior or a helping relationship is a purposeful interaction, either to solve a problem or to encourage further development. Compared to a typical friendship, the helper has more responsibilities. Friendships involve more personal emotions, making it difficult to be objective; whereas professional helpers should strive to be objective and use purposeful, directed methods to assist others. For example, if Miss A has emotional difficulties and talks to her close friend Miss B, it is different from seeking help from a professional helper (such as a psychological counselor or social worker). Obviously, the tone, manner, and process of the conversation will be different. Miss B will listen, ask questions, offer advice, and share her own perspectives. She is concerned and interested in Miss A's problems and is also interested in sharing her own experiences. For instance, if Miss A has a disagreement or misunderstanding with her boyfriend, Miss B might listen and express frustration with the boyfriend on her behalf, stand up for her, share her own experiences with her boyfriend, or even talk about her own arguments or unpleasant experiences with her boyfriend. She might also give subjective opinions or advice about Miss A's emotions. In contrast, in a professional helping relationship, the helper is concerned and interested in the person seeking help but does not show interest in revealing herself. She would not take the opportunity to talk about her own experiences with her boyfriend unless such disclosure is beneficial to the counseling. Relatively speaking, the feedback provided by the helper is specific and meaningful—clarifying feelings, confirming contradictions, formulating concrete goals and plans, and enhancing behavioral change. Therefore, the helping relationship differs from the personal emotional involvement in a friendship, lacking mutual openness and advice. This allows the person seeking help to better understand themselves, see themselves more clearly, and take greater responsibility for their own changes—giving themselves advice, making plans, and implementing them. Helping is a process
Helping work certainly has its purpose—to guide the person being counseled toward growth goals, to solve problems and enhance their ability to face crises. But the most important