How Excellent Children Are Made-(The Complete Three Volumes)

Author: Sun Haifang
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-05-01
Features: Today, the era we live in is one full of competition. Although we do not advocate always striving to be the best, actively pursuing opportunities and seizing them are essential conditions for survival and development. While parents cultivate cooperation and humility in their children, they should also instill a sense of competition, helping them to move beyond the misconception of "giving way."
As an example, Yangyang's parents initially focused more on teaching Yangyang to be humble toward his younger brother but rarely emphasized respecting his older brother or helped Yangyang improve his leadership skills. As a result, Yangyang only knew to let his younger brother take his toys and "step aside to watch," but he did not know how to argue his case or come up with different solutions to lead his younger brother in cooperative play, such as jointly organizing and tidying up toys. When he brought his family interaction skills to his kindergarten peers, he ended up being too passive in letting others take the lead, unwilling to express his own opinions, and unable to guide others in group activities.
When a person first lets others win, they gain respect and gratitude. However, when they give up all opportunities to others, they only receive sympathy, and sometimes even indifference or disdain. Yangyang, who only knew how to "give way," fell into the latter category. He was distant from other children and struggled to integrate into their games. Fortunately, the teacher noticed this situation in time. Through the joint efforts of parents and teachers, and through nightly "competitive games" with parents, Yangyang gradually learned to compete, express himself, and prove his abilities to others. Of course, he also earned the respect, admiration, and closeness of his peers.
"Survival of the fittest" applies not only to nature but also to society. In fact, competition is everywhere and at all times. No one has escaped competition in various situations and circumstances, even children as young as two or three can show the earliest signs of competition. As children enter primary school, the opportunities and settings for competition expand further. For children, the benefits of competition lie in fully realizing their potential, stimulating their initiative and enthusiasm, and improving their learning efficiency. Under competitive conditions, children often work harder and gain a more realistic evaluation of their abilities. Additionally, competition makes collective life more vibrant, preventing monotony in daily routines and enhancing the joy of learning and living.
Therefore, parents should strive to create a competitive atmosphere for their children, inspiring them to strive for excellence. A convenient and effective way for parents is to engage in more "competitive games" with their children. Through these games, children can gradually develop a competitive mindset, learn to unleash their potential, and prove themselves through effort and achievement, thereby earning the respect of others.
However, parents must be mindful that in competitive games, they should not always let their children win or play the role of a perpetual loser to please them. In real life, many parents do just that. For example, on the sports field, parents are left far behind by their children; in battles, they are "defeated" by their kids, appearing disheveled and defeated; in strength contests, they are as fragile as balloons. They believe that letting their children win not only makes them happy but also fosters their confidence and drive. Clearly, this view is incorrect, and such practices do more harm than good to a child's growth.
If adults always let their children win, once they get used to it, their self-esteem will become overly fragile, and they may struggle to handle even minor setbacks—sometimes a single critical word can make them cry. But children will eventually grow up and face a highly competitive society. In that world, there is no "letting" or equality, and tears will not be accepted. To help children adapt better to society in the future, parents should correctly cultivate their competitive awareness, teaching them that success comes only through their own efforts. They must also understand that winning is joyful, but losing should not lead to despair.
Therefore, when adults interact with children at home, they should not always let them be the victors. Children should experience both wins and losses, learning to develop a mature attitude toward them. In summary, if parents hope for their children to soar high in life, they must focus on nurturing their competitive awareness and skills, purifying the competitive environment, and creating a positive atmosphere where children can learn to compete, practice competition, and grow in a healthy competitive environment from a young age! P58-P60