Selected Readings from Lu Xun's Novels - Fiction and Drama

Author: Qian Liqun
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-09-01
Features: Diary of a Madman
The brothers, whose names are now withheld, were once good friends of mine during my middle school days. After years of separation, communication has become infrequent. Recently, I heard that one of them fell seriously ill. Upon returning to my hometown, I detoured to visit them but only met one person, who told me the sick one was his younger brother. Though I had come from a long distance to see him, he had already recovered and was heading to a new post. With a laugh, he showed me two diaries, saying they could reveal his condition at the time and might be of interest to old friends. Upon reading them, I realized the illness was likely "paranoia." The entries were disorganized and filled with absurd statements, without dates, but the varying ink colors indicated they were written over time. Some entries had slight coherence, so I selected one to share with medical professionals. The errors in the diary remain unchanged, but the names of the villagers, though not well-known, are altered as they are insignificant. The title, however, was added after his recovery and remains unaltered.
April 2, 1907
1
Tonight, the moonlight is very bright.
I haven’t seen him in over thirty years. Seeing him now, I feel unusually refreshed. I realize that the past thirty years were wasted. But I must be very careful. Otherwise, why would the dog from the Zhao family stare at me?
I have every reason to fear.
2
Tonight, there is no moonlight, and I know something is wrong. In the morning, I left cautiously, but the eyes of Lord Zhao Guiweng were strange—seemed afraid of me, as if they wanted to harm me. Several others were whispering about me, trying to avoid my gaze. Everyone on the street was like this. Among them, the most menacing one, with his mouth wide open, smiled at me. I felt a chill from head to toe, realizing they had already set their traps.
But I’m not afraid. I continued on my way. A group of children nearby were also whispering about me, their expressions just like Lord Zhao’s, their faces as pale as iron. I wondered what I could have done to them. Unable to hold back, I shouted, "Tell me!" and they ran off.
I thought: What could I have done to Lord Zhao or the people on the street? The only thing was twenty years ago, when I stepped on the old ledger of Mr. Goujiu, he was very displeased. Though Lord Zhao didn’t know him, he must have heard the rumors and took up the matter on his behalf, rallying others to oppose me. But what about the children? They weren’t even born then. Why are they now looking at me with strange eyes, as if afraid of me or wanting to harm me? This truly frightens me, amuses me, and makes me sad.
I understood. It’s what their parents taught them!
3
I couldn’t sleep at night. Everything must be studied to be understood.
They—some had been shackled by the county magistrate, some had been scolded by the gentry, some had their wives taken by officials, and some had their parents driven to death by creditors. But their faces were not as fearful or menacing as yesterday’s.
The strangest thing was the woman on the street yesterday, hitting her son and saying, "Father! I’ll bite you to make it even!" Yet her eyes were fixed on me. I was startled and couldn’t hide it. The gang of ferocious faces burst into laughter. Chen Laowu rushed forward and forcibly dragged me home. P9-1