The Wisdom of American Parenting - (Treasure Edition) - (Treasure Edition)

Author: Yun Zhongtian
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-10-01
Features: Sex Education Starts from Childhood
American parents are quite proactive in their children's sex education. They always actively discuss sexual issues with their children. Parents do not wait for children to ask before teaching them about sex, just as they do not wait for children to burn their hands before telling them not to touch the hot stove. American family educator Deborah Hafner says, "Teaching children about the world we live in and the values associated with it is the responsibility of parents, and this also includes teaching them about sex." When American parents watch TV with their children or read a book together that contains sexual content, they consider these moments as "teaching opportunities" for family sex education from a parenting perspective. They always integrate physiology and psychology well, teaching children about the values of sex. They always strive to understand what sexual knowledge their teenage children have learned at school and in society, and then communicate with them. For questions they don't know, they do not shy away from them but answer them honestly and then look up the information in books. American parents teach children from a young age to correctly understand their own bodies. Chinese parents are accustomed to calling their children's private parts "little chickens," while American families start by teaching children the correct names of these organs from the beginning. Genitals are the only part of the body where Americans teach children to use euphemisms, which may imply that if a child has a problem in that area, there is no one outside the family they can communicate with. Americans believe that children's curiosity about their own and others' bodies from birth is very natural. They never suppress this curiosity and always try to give children answers to their questions, such as "what is it" and "how to deal with it." This is somewhat at odds with the Chinese parents' tendency to avoid discussing sex with their children. In China, if a boy points at a girl's breasts and asks, "Why is her chest so big," parents often think the child has a perverted tendency. In the U.S., parents see this as a good opportunity for sex education. They explain to children from various perspectives, such as gender differences, about physiology. They never avoid the topic of "sex" and actively discuss it with children, guiding them in all aspects so that they have no confusion about their bodies. They tailor sex education to different age groups based on the characteristics of puberty, gradually guiding children from the confusion of adolescence to physical maturity. Dr. Peirsma, a renowned American sex therapist, has encountered many parents who are confused about sex education. He says that the rules for effective love and sex education are actually very simple. He lists the following rules:
One should take the opportunity to talk more about sexual issues. TV shows, movies, news articles, magazine articles—there are dozens of sexual-related topics to discuss every day. Dr. Peirsma reminds us that the key to "opportunity education" is to be direct rather than giving long speeches. If a child has sexual doubts, if the child is a boy, the mother might say, "Go talk to your dad," but this old-fashioned idea is unnecessary. First, it is important to emphasize