The Complete Collection of Wisdom in Conducting Oneself and Affairs - Being Clever in Conducting Oneself and Handling Affairs

Author: Wang Xingjian
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-09-01
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Poor interpersonal relationships are mainly caused by oneself
If you don’t get along well with the people around you, you can easily make excuses to explain how you are blameless and how all the responsibility lies with others. Your excuses may be convincing, but you should realize that such a poor interpersonal environment is largely caused by yourself.
When you disdain the words and deeds of your colleagues, you distance yourself from them with your so-called superiority. Although what they might say is indeed crude, you have a reason to do so. When you talk excessively and act arrogantly without regard for others, your haughtiness may earn you the nickname "arrogant," even though you are indeed a talented person.
When you look down with a harsh tone while treating others, you isolate yourself; when you frown and stare with wide eyes, your relationship with others has already fallen into danger. Whether you should do so or not, from the result, it goes against your wishes.
Unless you live in the deep mountains and forests, isolated from the world, you must live among relatives, friends, neighbors, classmates, and colleagues. These people’s personalities, temperaments, ambitions, hobbies, knowledge, interests, morals, and talents are undoubtedly diverse. If God copied ten of you and worked with you, drank the same brand of beer, complained about the same things, or even loved the same person, wouldn’t that be terrifying? Acknowledging that the people around you are made up of various roles is the basic prerequisite for successfully handling interpersonal relationships. You can only, and must, live with many people who are different from you—this is something you cannot choose, and you can only face this reality.
You may dislike disco, but you have no reason to dislike the people who dance it. You can simply choose not to watch it; if you can awaken their interest with elegant waltz or tango steps and even become their instructors, you will draw closer to them.
In this way, you turn the handling of daily small matters from unfavorable to favorable, and you yourself create a harmonious interpersonal environment. Additionally, your expectations should not be too high—you can never make everyone happy. If we acknowledge that most people are good and can get along well with the majority, then our interpersonal environment is harmonious.