Huayan Novel--Celestial Couples

Author: Hua Yan (Taiwan/China Taiwan)
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2003-02-12
Features:
"Did I not already know she was your mother? When did I ever mistake her for anything else?"
"Have you ever considered this: If we were serving your mother instead of mine, how would you feel?"
"I have a mother. Do you not know I lost my parents when I was just a teenager?"
"I certainly do. But I am saying 'if'—that would be her."
"I don’t know. I think I might just handle it as the situation arises. If harming you for her sake, I would do nothing."
"What do you mean by 'harming' me? Are you saying I hurt you because of my mother?"
"You only think of her, not of me. You place her above me, and that is something I cannot tolerate."
"Grandfather, do you not think the relationship between parents and spouses does not conflict, just as the relationship between spouses and children does not? You once felt wronged, believing I only cared about my mother and not you. If it were not for your ignorance of the value of parental love, or if you did not think my mother was no match for yours, then it must be your own insecurity that played a part."
"Your insecurity? When have I ever felt insecure?"
"The insecurity I carried when we got married. Perhaps you now have enough confidence to move beyond it and into self-respect. But for a long time, the early insecurity rooted in your heart made you narrow-minded and biased in your views. Reflect calmly now—am I not right?"
"Your words are right? You once told me I was arrogant and self-centered because of my insecurity. Now you say I have enough confidence to move beyond it. So, do you think self-respect and insecurity are complementary, or do they oppose each other?"
Thirteen
"By the way, Grandfather, I met Old Wang at Xie’s house yesterday."
"Old Wang? Which Old Wang?"
"The one you borrowed money from when you planned to start your own magazine."
"For goodness sake, why do you keep bringing up that guy?"
"He told Xie and his wife yesterday that he and you are very close friends. He said he took me to the hospital in his car, and later you stayed in the hospital with me while he took care of Songzhi at our house."
"Wow, he actually spun such a touching story? Do you remember how he looked when he came begging us for money back then? Thinking we wouldn’t pay back, judging me for my entire life, with that aggressive attitude and tone. How was he yesterday? Did he make up those stories to make Xie believe he was your friend, or did he hope I would believe he once was?"
"Grandfather, you should be delighted to hear these words. When he came begging us for money with that aggressive face, you were certain he would one day 'put on a different mask' to 'network and seek connections.' Now your prediction has come true one hundred percent. Are you not happier than angry?"
"If I were you, Grandmother, I would have spoken well to Xie yesterday, and also given that bastard Old Wang a piece of my mind. That bastard’s opportunistic and materialistic attitude has made us unforgettable humiliation. Now that you have a chance, you should give him a look that will haunt him for life. That would be getting even."
"Grandfather, as your first wife for thirty years, I know exactly what you expect of me. But I lack quick wit. By the time I thought of words that would haunt Old Wang for life, the chance had already passed."
"Hmph, that’s you. When you’re eloquent, it’s always to pick on your husband. When you really need to stand up for yourself and say something, you lack the wit. In truth, you’re just the soft-spoken weakling people call a 'soft crab.' Do you even know that?"
"Seeing Old Wang reminds me of all the things you did when you started 'High School Magazine.' That year, you even won an award for it. Do you remember?"
"Forget it. What’s so special about that magazine? It was just a small, insignificant business, like selling trinkets on the street. Back then, we were truly desperate and had no idea where the inspiration came from to start a magazine. We were so busy every day—reading manuscripts, proofreading, scrambling for content. We often finished last month’s work just to start on the next. All for those tiny profits, exhausting ourselves, frantic and overwhelmed."
"Now you think starting that magazine was 'desperate and pointless,' but I see it as a time when you were passionate and loved spiritual life. You said young people in their teens suffer from anxiety and confusion, easily swept away by societal trends. They’re highly adaptable, which also makes them fear being torn apart and losing their identity. So you emphasized the importance of spiritual life, saying your goal was not money but ideals."
"Grandmother, I couldn’t help but sound so idealistic because if I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have been able to comfort myself."
"No, you weren’t being idealistic—you truly had ideals. I just don’t know when you gave them up or put them aside. Who influenced you to do that?"
"You definitely said back then that I was influenced by Qian Daodu, constantly nagging me about it, driving me to the brink of despair."
"You can’t deny how much Qian Daodu influenced you. Near the bad, near the black—can you blame me for feeling terrified? Also, because I was young and impulsive, I couldn’t handle myself when we talked about Qian Daodu, fearing I’d say the wrong thing or beed, so I spoke more urgently and loudly. The more you resisted, the more agitated and incoherent I became. In truth, I was just overly concerned, so I acted too hastily. I acted like someone who, seeing you sick, wanted you to get better quickly and poured three days’ worth of medicine into your mouth at once."
"Oh? So now you finally admit to your foolishness and harsh words back then? You wanted me to get better quickly, but instead, you nearly killed me."