"Good manners will take you everywhere"

Author: Wan Quanhe
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-09-01
Features: This book is primarily aimed at new entrants into the workforce who may face etiquette challenges and daily interactions. With the goal of enhancing personal skills and charm, it delves into the details of behavior and mindset, presenting the essentials of workplace conduct through engaging text and exquisite images, thereby helping readers navigate the path to workplace happiness. Etiquette, at its core, serves human society. While animals in nature have their own group rules, they cannot be elevated to the level of "etiquette" compared to the rigid and complex hierarchy of social classes and strata in human society. When it comes to the objects of respect, the unchanging superiors in human society are the elders in familial relationships, which can be extended to older individuals. However, in the animal kingdom, even the aged, such as the elderly lion king or monkey king who once ruled a group, may face ruthless challenges from the younger generation. The defeated are often the long-reigning, frail elders, while the victors are more likely to be their offspring. This "survival of the fittest" natural selection process is considered natural among animals; to humans, however, acts like "a subject killing a ruler" or "a child killing a parent" are deemed taboo.
Regarding the ways of showing respect, humans are animals capable of expressing emotions in multiple ways, so methods of showing respect are also diverse. Sometimes, respect is expressed verbally, though as the saying goes, "A good horse is born with legs, and a good person is born with a mouth." Yet, verbal expressions of respect may carry the suspicion of sycophancy. Even Confucius had no better solution, merely noting, "A gentleman's respect is close to flattery." As human language skills have improved, flattery has become more abundant and harder to discern, leading people to rely on the old adage, "Only distance can reveal a horse's strength, and time can reveal a person's heart." Thus, the primary way to express respect is through actions. The most common and timeless issue of showing respect is the hierarchical order within a group. In ancient times, people were quite particular: those 20 years older than oneself were treated with the reverence of parents, those between 10 and 20 years younger were treated with the respect of older brothers, and those under 10 years old (but over 5) did not need to maintain much distance—standing shoulder to shoulder but slightly behind. Today, people are even more particular. Consider a dinner table scene, where the seating arrangement reveals much. Generally, the leader sits in the center. Occasionally, some leaders insist that the eldest or the eldest brother sit in the middle. When everyone realizes they cannot object, they reluctantly comply, persuading the less senior brother to take the central seat. The eldest brother, embarrassed, half-heartedly sits in the middle, pulling the person who should have been there closer to his side, appearing intimate. The rest take their seats with humility, according to their ranks, ages, and relationships. This kind of formality is one of the defining features of human society. If you encounter someone who lacks such consideration, they are in danger, for they are far removed from society. P10-12