Find the Right Person to Handle the Right Thing: 62 Golden Rules for Effectively Improving Your Ability to Get Things Done (Classic Reading Edition)

Author: Yang Shukei, Yu Yi
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-06-01
Features:
Social connections are built through "talking." The key to getting things done lies in mutual communication. Many things can be accomplished effortlessly when common ground is found through casual conversations, creating a sense of resonance in thoughts and emotions, reaching a consensus, and gaining others'. Interpersonal relationships begin with conversation, which is an effective means of making friends, bridging distances, and communicating ideas. Conversation is the best way to exchange thoughts, spark resonance, and form friendships.
Franklin D. Roosevelt returned to the United States from Africa, preparing to participate in the 1912 election. As the late President Theodore Roosevelt's cousin and a renowned lawyer, he naturally had high visibility. At a banquet, everyone knew him, but Roosevelt didn't recognize any of the guests. He noticed that although they all knew him, their expressions were cold, as if they had no favor toward him. Roosevelt devised a way to approach the people he didn't know and start a conversation. He quietly whispered to Dr. Russell, sitting beside him, "Dr. Russell, could you tell me about the guests opposite me?" Dr. Russell then provided a brief overview of each person. After learning about them, Roosevelt casually asked the strangers some simple questions during the conversation, discovering their personalities, interests, and careers. With this information, he had material to engage them in small talk and pique their interest. Unknowingly, Roosevelt became their new friend. Small talk can turn strangers into acquaintances and help you make friends worldwide.
When engaging in small talk with others, even with close friends, avoid only discussing your own achievements. Your pride highlights others' misfortunes, and they may even perceive your boasting as mocking their inadequacies. This will certainly make them dislike you and disapprove of you. If you focus solely on your own successes in small talk, others may feel overshadowed by you.
Once, someone invited a few friends over for dinner. The friends all knew each other. The host gathered them together, hoping the lively atmosphere would lift the spirits of a friend currently in a low point. This friend had recently closed a company due to poor management, and his wife was also considering divorce due to financial stress. Feeling overwhelmed, he was in immense pain. The guests, aware of his situation, avoided discussing work-related topics. However, one friend, who had recently made a lot of money, couldn't help but brag about his earning and spending skills after a few drinks. His proud demeanor even made the host uncomfortable. The discouraged friend remained silent, his face grim. He excused himself to the bathroom and then left early. Outside, he angrily said, "Old Wu can make money, but he doesn’t need to show off in front of me." The host understood his feelings, as he had once been in a similar low point. When a successful relative flaunted his salary and bonus in his face, it felt like needles piercing his heart. He felt as miserable as he described.
Therefore, when interacting with others, remember never to discuss your achievements in front of someone who is down on their luck. If you only talk about your own successes, they may distance themselves from you, avoid meeting you, and eventually lose you as a friend.
There are many topics to discuss when talking with friends. Focus on what they care about and are proud of, as this can win their favor and. Many people forget this fundamental principle in conversations, only talking about themselves or things related to them, without considering the other person's feelings. This leads to failed communication.
Lin Yida worked in the personnel allocation department of a regional bureau. When he first joined, he had no friends among his colleagues. He was feeling on top of the world and extremely self-satisfied. Therefore, in his daily small talk, he would boast about his achievements at work, such as how many people asked for his help each day or how someone had insisted on giving him a gift the previous day. However, his colleagues not only failed to share his pride but were also unhappy. It wasn’t until his father, a long-time leader, pointed out the problem that he realized his mistake. From then on, he rarely talked about himself and instead listened more to his colleagues. Since many colleagues also had things to boast about, sharing their achievements was far more exciting for them than listening to others brag. Later, whenever he had time to chat with colleagues, he would encourage them to talk endlessly about their joys and accomplishments, sharing in their happiness, and only modestly mentioned his own achievements when they asked.
Successful conversations involve talking less about yourself and more about what the other person cares about. This creates a connection, making it easier to get things done. Conversation is like a key that can easily open the door to achieving goals. People's interests often align with their excitement. In conversations, if we tailor our topics to different people's interests, we can easily open their hearts, reach their inner thoughts, effectively spark emotional resonance, and smoothly accomplish our goals.
Once, a supply officer went to a factory to discuss business. Upon entering the director's office, he noticed several exquisite calligraphy scrolls hanging on the wall. Upon closer inspection, they were in seal script. The officer's eyes lit up and he immediately complimented the calligraphy. The factory director, mistaking the officer for a fellow calligraphy enthusiast, warmly greeted him: "Please sit, let's talk in detail." Unknowingly, the director had already regarded this "calligraphy lover" as a kindred spirit. Naturally, when the officer later brought up business matters, it was "much easier."
When seeking to get things done, it doesn’t always involve people you know. Sometimes, you must step into unfamiliar territory and environments. In such cases, conversation can quickly break the ice and lead to success.
Once, a young man went to see a famous calligrapher for a favor. After sitting on the sofa, he casually picked up a copy of the Evening from the coffee table, which featured a full page of elderly calligraphy works. Noticing the calligraphy on the wall, he asked, "I’m not sure whether to start with running script or regular script?"
"Hmm, young man, you should learn some calligraphy. Nowadays..." the old man began to talk endlessly about the current state of calligraphy, the glorious history of Chinese calligraphy, and the correct methods and steps for learning. The old man and the young man felt like they had known each other for years. The young man not only got what he wanted but also learned a lot about calligraphy from the old man. His success was a result of the conversation.
When making friends and accomplishing tasks, use the opportunity of conversation to find common ground, increasing the chances of building relationships. Through conversation, you can better understand the other person and allow them to get to know you. Additionally, don’t appear timid or shy in conversation. Be confident in showcasing your strengths and advantages, so the other person can acknowledge and trust you. In this way, even the most difficult tasks can achieve unexpected results through conversation.
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