True Self: Only after thirty did I understand

Author: Su Maozhen
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2003-01-01
Features: Just One Step Away from Manchester United
On the evening of October 15, 1989, I boarded the plane from Beijing to London again. Wu Chongwen accompanied me this time, as we were invited by Bobby to train with Manchester United. The moment I received the notice from the Chinese Football Association, I suddenly understood the words Bobby had said to me when I watched the Manchester United vs. Arsenal match. Before leaving, my heart was still full of anxiety—excited about the opportunity, yet worried about ending up with nothing like last time. But who could have imagined that fate would trick me again at the critical moment? This time, I had worked hard and received full recognition from the club, but an unexpected injury kept me just one step away from Manchester United. It was like a nightmare!
As soon as I got off the plane, I saw a smiling Bobby, who had rushed from Manchester to greet us from hundreds of miles away. The next day, we officially joined the Manchester United youth team for training. After one training session, I felt very tired but excited, because here, if you made a good play, people would cheer for you. During training, I had two good headers and one pass, and the coach and players clapped enthusiastically, boosting my confidence immensely. Even happier was that at the end of the week, the club paid us both a week’s salary—￡30 each. Wow! This was the first time I had received a salary abroad, and I was overjoyed. That night, I ate three packs of instant noodles to celebrate.
October 23 was a day I would never forget, as I celebrated a very happy birthday. In the morning, just after I woke up, landlady Mrs. Brand gave me a birthday gift, and I happily accepted it. To my surprise, during lunch, Bobby and the team had set up a birthday cake. I hadn’t told them, so I must have been noticed by Bobby in my personal file. I blew out the candles excitedly as my friends sang the birthday song, asking me to say a few words. I said, “I love England, I love Manchester, thank you all!”
Two days later, after training, Bobby happily said to me, “Your training is great. You can play in the official match in a few days.” It was a joy from the sky, and I excitedly shook his hand to celebrate. However, just one day before the match, the coach suddenly told me I couldn’t play, because the Chinese Football Association’s paperwork hadn’t been completed.
Finally, after a week, my dream came true. On the morning of November 4, during the pre-match meeting, the coach announced the team lineup. When he said “SU,” I couldn’t believe my ears. Ha! I was finally going to play for Manchester United’s youth team! That day’s opponent was the Yorkshires P??. At the start of the match, as a rookie, I was very nervous and missed many opportunities. In the second half, I gradually adapted to the pace and started to make an impact, scoring two beautiful headers in a row. In the end, we won 7:1.
Scoring two goals in one match made me extremely excited, and the coach and Bobby were also very happy, constantly shouting “OK!” at me. Coincidentally, as soon as I returned to the club, I received a letter from my parents. They said Bobby was like Bethune, inviting me for trial training to cultivate talent for Chinese football, and hoped I would train hard and not disappoint his expectations. Holding the letter, I stood in front of the club’s gate, facing east, and silently said in my heart, “Dad, Mom, and my younger brother, do you know? Today I officially played in a match and scored two goals. Be happy for me, bless me!”
Encouraged by my family and Bobby, I performed brilliantly in the next match against the opponent, scoring a hat-trick. Even happier was that the coach let me wear the No. 10 jersey—a truly glorious number! It was also the first time I wore No. 10 in a match, and from then on, it became my lucky number. Later, when I returned to Shandong team, No. 10 became my special jersey. During the national team under coach Mi Lu, I also wore No. 10 for a long time. It was my lucky number. Wearing it, I felt a magical force.
In the third match, we won again, and I performed excellently, scoring two goals, including a penalty I created. But as they say, “three times too many,” and in the fourth match, we tasted defeat. I played poorly, wasn’t active enough, and wasn’t aggressive in aerial duels, always waiting for teammates to pass the ball to my head. The next day, during training, the coach also reminded me that my recent performance in training and matches had been poor. I knew what I was doing—overseas, coaches wouldn’t casually praise or criticize players. His willingness to speak up showed that he valued me and genuinely wanted me to improve. I couldn’t take it for granted. Thinking this, I trained even harder, and when the coach looked at me, his face showed a relieved smile.
A few days later, I received a letter from Li Xiaoguang of the Chinese Football Association. On October 28, he told me some bad news: China’s dream of qualifying for the 1990 World Cup had shattered in Singapore once again. He said, “The responsibility of reviving Chinese football has now fallen to you, the younger generation. You must work even harder.”
After years of hard work, the long-awaited result finally came. On November 30, after training, Bobby walked over and patted my head, saying, “Kid, you’ve succeeded!” Confused, I asked for an explanation, and he said, “Because of your outstanding performance, the club wants to sign you.” Ah! I was overjoyed. With the contract signed, I officially became a member of Manchester United’s youth team. In this high-level, famous club, with hard work, I was determined to become a world star and bring honor to my country!
But fate, why was it so unfair to Su Maozhen? Less than a week before the trial training ended, December 2 became the darkest day of my life. In the 20th minute of a crucial match, an opponent’s vicious slide tackle sent me crashing to the ground. The doctor’s diagnosis came quickly: a in my right ankle. The next noon, the club manager and Bobby came to the hospital to visit me. Seeing them, my eyes almost filled with tears. Then, landlady Mrs. Brand arrived, and I finally couldn’t hold back and burst into tears in her arms.
The day after the surgery, my mood was extremely low. To make matters worse, I received a letter from my dad, who didn’t know I was injured and was still proud of my performance. Soon after, my mom, who was on a business trip in Shanghai, also wrote, encouraging me to keep playing and achieve something to bring back. Reading her letter, I couldn’t help but cry again.
A few days later, the coach came, and his regretful gaze made me nervous, fearing he would give up on me. But he told me to rest and promised to let me train again next year, which brought me some comfort. In the afternoon, Bobby came again and gave me a tape recorder. I was thrilled, and his sad eyes showed how much he cared. Yes, he had high hopes for me, and after recovering, I would work even harder. Mrs. Brand visited almost every day, eager to chat with me. Seeing me lonely in the hospital, she borrowed two domestic movie tapes—The Legend of Tianyun Mountain and The Great Parade—from an elderly Chinese immigrant. I watched them in one day and was deeply moved. The Legend of Tianyun Mountain tells the story of a protagonist who sticks to his dreams and beliefs, enduring setbacks but never giving up. He faces hardships but remains optimistic about life. Isn’t this exactly what I need to learn?
December 16 was the day I left the hospital. I was happy, knowing that recovery would take about 100 days. If I healed well, I might not miss the 1990 Asian Youth Championship in April next year. I asked the doctor, “Can I play in April next year?”