Double life

Author: Li Jiang / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-08-01
Features: Even the most barren land can nurture sweet love. In the spring of 1974, I was sixteen years old. With a group of Lanzhou sent-down youth, I took trains and then hopped onto buses, traveling far and wide to arrive at a small village at the foot of the Qilian Mountains in the Hexi Corridor for the Down-to-the-Countryside Movement. Six months later, the naive me fell into my first love and met a girl named Luo Xiaofang, who had (intruded) into my life. It was an autumn night, starry but with a bright moon. I invited her, who was working on the farmland construction site in the same production brigade, to return to the youth dormitory with me. A crescent moon hung high in the sky, like a playful child, leaping in and out of the clouds. The Qilian Snow Peaks, which were always covered in snow and shone with dazzling light during the day, now seemed distant and faint in the moonlight. The surroundings were hazy, as if veiled in a light mist—the farmhouses, fields, paths, irrigation ditches, and fields—would appear and disappear with the moon’s movements, creating a scene as beautiful as a painting. A cool night breeze gently swept past, carrying the sweet fragrance of melon patches and orchards, as if it were absorbing nectar and moisturizing every part of my body. Rural scenery is poetic when you set aside the heavy physical labor. This small village, far from Lanzhou and almost isolated from the outside world, nestled deep in the folds of the Qilian Mountains, was so peaceful, serene, and tranquil. In my heart, there was no trace of fatigue from labor; only longing filled me.
I had planned to go back to the youth dormitory alone to fetch some clothes. As I was about to leave the temple—the construction workers’ quarters were set up in a dilapidated temple, with a wall built in the center to separate male and female sleeping areas—Luo Xiaofang followed behind and said, “I’m coming with you too.” I asked, “What do you need to take back?” Luo Xiaofang whispered softly, “Nothing, I just want to go with you.”
After stepping out of the temple, ( a river gully), and emerging from behind the wall of a village house, we turned onto a path leading to the village. Only then did Luo Xiaofang ask, “Are you going to see her?” “See who?” I pretended to ask. “You mean who? She came to the construction team specifically to see you just two days ago and brought fruit candies and sunflower seeds.” Xiaofang was referring to another sent-down youth, Chen Yuxia.
After a meal, when no one was in the kitchen, Chen Yuxia asked me, “Zhang Yifan, can you fetch water for me?” I readily agreed, “Of course, what’s the problem?”
From then on, whenever Chen Yuxia cooked, I fetched water for her. Our relationship grew subtly. But at that time, the team leader, Old Qiao, assigned me, Luo Xiaofang, Juan Mao, and Ma Xiulan to repair the irrigation channel at the team’s construction site. My feelings for Chen Yuxia gradually faded. In truth, we hadn’t even spoken much.
To my surprise, Chen Yuxia suddenly appeared in front of the construction team’s temple gate two days ago. We had just finished morning work and were returning to the temple for lunch. She said a relative from the county had come to visit her and had taken a bus after dropping her off. She had come around to see Luo Xiaofang and Ma Xiulan. When I returned to the temple and settled on my cot, I found a small plastic bag tucked under it. I pulled it out and discovered it contained fruit candies and sunflower seeds. Luo Xiaofang and Ma Xiulan wanted to invite Chen Yuxia for dinner, but she declined, saying she would go back to her place for it. Instead, she slipped closer to me and asked if I had seen the gift. I said I had, and she reminded me to hide it quickly so no one would snatch it.
I thanked her, but inside, I felt uncomfortable. Before this, Luo Xiaofang and I had been working on the same handcart and had grown close in a tacit understanding. When Chen Yuxia left, she asked me to walk her part of the way, so I had no choice but to do so. After returning, Luo Xiaofang treated me coldly. During the noon work, she didn’t say a word. I secretly slipped the fruit candies and sunflower seeds from my pocket to her, but she refused, “They’re for you, I won’t eat them.”
As we walked, I knew Luo Xiaofang still suspected me. The youth dormitory was about seven or eight kilometers away from the team’s farmland construction site. I had never walked alone at night with any female sent-down youth from the same dormitory, so I felt awkward, walking a few steps behind Luo Xiaofang with little conversation. Whenever I stepped on a rock, a lump of earth, or a pothole, I would warn her to watch out. She would briefly respond, “I know.”
When we passed a cornfield path, the corn leaves brushing against her face made her gasp and kneel down. I asked, “What’s wrong? Did it hurt badly? I shouldn’t have taken this shortcut.” Luo Xiaofang rubbed her eyes and said, “It’s okay, it’s not your fault, I wasn’t careful.” My heart pounded as I mustered the courage to say, “Let me see?” Luo Xiaofang covered her eyes and stood up, removing her hand from them and obediently turning her face for me to examine. At that moment, the crescent moon reappeared in the clouds, and I saw a small red mark near her injured eye. At sixteen, her face was so soft and beautiful under the bright moonlight. Her cheeks, tanned by the sun during the day, now looked as if they were dusted with blush in the moonlight. The world was silent except for the gentle breeze rustling the corn leaves in the field beside us.
My voice trembled as I asked, “Does it hurt?” Luo Xiaofang shook her head and replied, “It doesn’t hurt much, just startled my eye.” I didn’t know what to do next and stood there like an idiot. At that moment, a dog barked from a nearby farmhouse. Luo Xiaofang said, “Let’s go, it’s getting late.” I foolishly led her off the path. The two of us walked in silence again on the rural dirt road. The moon cast long shadows of the two of us, often overlapping.
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