Problem too much

Author: Yang Dongming
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2001-01-01
Features: "This uses the technique of openwork carving. The jade material looks like yellow soil on the outside. Inside, it's iron brown. The jade carver designed it according to the material, showing great ingenuity. It's not easy to think of, and to do it right, it takes even more effort." Qiao Guo looks at the price tag. Two thousand five hundred yuan. She shakes her head and asks, "Someone will buy such an expensive jade tortoise?" "The divine tortoise has a long life, it's a auspicious object used for celebrating birthdays. Sometimes, to win someone's favor, you can first win the favor of their parents. Two thousand five hundred yuan to win someone's favor isn't expensive." "And this one? These two birds, lying in the grass, what are they doing?" "Hmm, take a close look at the necks of the two birds. See clearly? They are mating. The grass below is Chinese knot grass. This is called 'mandarin ducks in love.'" What it's used for doesn't need Lu Lianbi to explain. Qiao Guo naturally understands. She turns her gaze to another jade carving nearby and says, "This one doesn't need explaining. This is a rooster. The rooster crows at dawn. Is that right?" "It's over, it's over. With you explaining like this, I won't be able to sell this jade anymore," Lu Lianbi jokes, "First, take a look at what's at the bottom. This is a rooster comb. Now look at the top, is there a big rooster comb on the rooster's head? Ah, right, this is called 'comb on top of comb,' implying 'promotion on top of promotion.' You think, which official wouldn't like that?" "Oh, I see. So that's the meaning." Qiao Guo suddenly understands. Following this line of thinking, Qiao Guo quickly figures out the pattern. Several horses race forward with their heads held high, called "A Thousand Miles of Official Career." A jade toad carries a square box on its back, called "Golden Toad Bringing Wealth." Several green bamboo stalks with clear nodes, with a few oddly shaped magpies perched on them, called "Rising Step by Step." Unconsciously, Qiao Guo stands in front of another counter. The glass display case contains a series of jade and stone artifacts, all looking worn and old. Qiao Guo exclaims, "Wow, what are these things? Where did they come from?" "Ah, you shouldn't underestimate them," Lu Lianbi lightly taps the counter glass. "The things in this counter are worth more than all the things in all the other counters combined." Qiao Guo laughs, "Really? Is it that serious?" "You don't believe me, do you?" Lu Lianbi points out to Qiao Guo very seriously. "Look at this, this round, flat, and smooth thing with a hole in the middle. This is a 'bi,' an ornament that ancient scholars wore on their belts." Qiao Guo says, "I know, it's the 'bi' in your name." Lu Lianbi says, "This 'bi' is much more valuable than the one in my name. Ancient Chinese jade is most exquisite from the Zhou, Han, Song, and Qing dynasties. This bi is an item from the Han dynasty. Now, look at this, this is a 'yin,' used to tie strings on a guqin. This is from the Song dynasty. This long, thin thing—this is a 'le,' used to tie a horse's mouth, from the late Qing dynasty. This is a jade hairpin, this is jade lotus, this is jade guide, this is jade chopsticks." Just as Lu Lianbi is enjoying himself, he suddenly stops. Qiao Guo says, "Ah, keep going, keep going." "I think you're not here just to visit," Lu Lianbi looks at Qiao Guo with a smile. Qiao Guo looks around but says nothing. "Hmm, shall we go inside for some tea and talk slowly?" Lu Lianbi gestures toward the manager's office. As Qiao Guo follows Lu Lianbi into the manager's office, she immediately sees the large cat squatting on the tropical fish tank. The cat isn't an ordinary black and white; it's a brilliant yellow like copper or gold. Embedded in the dazzling yellow are heavy black spots like lead or iron. Combined with its fierce expression when looking up, it looks a bit like a leopard or a tiger. When Qiao Guo and Lu Lianbi enter, the cat is perched on the fish tank, trying to catch the colorful tropical fish. It leans half its body, its fur-clad paws like oars, stirring the water in the glass tank. Lu Lianbi shouts, "Go!" The cat calmly glances at its owner and then resentfully leaves, leaving only a trail of wet paw prints on the wide manager's desk. Qiao Guo says, "Manager Lu, your store is different from others, and so is your cat." Lu Lianbi says, "The cat was brought from my hometown, and the store was moved from my hometown too. They both have a rustic charm." "Things with a rustic charm are often special and attractive," Qiao Guo hesitates and slowly says, "For example, the strange jade bamboo shoot our General An got from you last time. Look, can you— I'll pay, buy another one?" After hearing Qiao Guo's words, Lu Lianbi slowly retracts his smile. He looks at Qiao Guo as if examining her, then very seriously says, "Please tell me, what happened?" "I lost it," Qiao Guo tells the truth. "You really are something!" Lu Lianbi narrows his eyes with mockery. "Do you know what you lost?" Qiao Guo shakes her head. "Have you heard of the Ming dynasty eunuch Wei Zhongxian? During the reign of Emperor Xizong, he almost held absolute power over the court. Wei Zhongxian had a capable assistant, Wei Daliang, who rose to the position of Vice Minister of Personnel. At this level, he had both status and wealth, but what use were status and wealth to him? As an eunuch, Wei Vice Minister had no male organs. For a person, the most valuable thing is life, the joy life brings. Without it, he was utterly poor and destitute!" After hearing Lu Lianbi's next words, Qiao Guo seems to be shaken. Lu Lianbi seems not to notice Qiao Guo's expression. He continues calmly, "When Wei Vice Minister was alive, he wanted joy. Even if he couldn't experience it himself, seeing women enjoy it was enough to make him feel like he had. That's why he had a jade phallus made. Poor fellow, when he died, the jade phallus was buried with him, thinking he could still enjoy it in the afterlife. The jade phallus was placed next to the body, and over time, the blood of the body slowly seeped into the jade. This is the precious 'stained jade' that the world values. An Shaofu bought it and wanted you to give it to Liu Renjie. It's an unearthed treasure. In this world, there will never be a second one like it. Even if you have endless money, where would you buy it?" Hearing Lu Lianbi's words, Qiao Guo feels as if she's been struck by lightning. She urgently pleads, "Brother Lu, what should I do, what should I do? You have to help me!" "Don't hurry, don't hurry. Look at you, calling me 'brother' all the time. How could I not help you?" Qiao Guo fears it's not reliable enough, so she adds, "Brother Lu, if you help me with this favor, whatever you ask for, I'll give it!" As soon as she says this, Qiao Guo feels it's inappropriate, and her face immediately turns red. "Just call me 'brother,' don't mention 'thanks.'" Lu Lianbi says generously, "If you say 'thanks' again, I won't be responsible for it." Qiao Guo nods repeatedly, "Okay, okay, Brother Lu, I'll do whatever you say." Lu Lianbi then asks Qiao Guo, "Did you tell anyone else about losing the jade bamboo shoot?" "Besides you, only my husband." "That's good. It's settled. There's a way to handle this." "So, it's possible to get the jade bamboo shoot back?" "It's impossible. We can only fake it." Qiao Guo is about to ask how to fake it, whether it will be the same as the real one, when the door to the manager's office suddenly opens, and Lu Lianbi's wife, Luo Jinfeng, walks in. She looks at Qiao Guo with bright eyes but says lightly, "Oh, I see why the boss didn't come out to attend to business. Turns out he's in here chatting." "Madam, we're just talking about business," Lu Lianbi says. "Come, come, let me introduce. This is Business Manager Qiao from Tian Shi Company, and this is my wife."