Huayan Dictionary: Alternative Interpretations of Loanwords and Popular Expressions

Author: Hu Yan
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-04-01
Features: Today, what perfume are you "wearing"? If someone asks you this question (coincidentally, you are a woman), and it’s the first time you’ve heard it, what does it bring to your mind? Is it the "perfume rain" worn by the dying Light Dancing in the Air, or the "new clothes of the emperor" from Andersen’s fairy tale? Would you be puzzled: "Can perfume be worn?" or would you applaud: "What a unique and clever phrase!" This "alternative" expression is currently popular among the "certain group," much like other trendy things. However, tracing its origins leads to suspicion: Was the "creator" mentally impaired, or was their English proficiency simply too poor?
In the West, when lovers (or quasi-lovers, pseudo-lovers, or even fake lovers) go on dates, men often pretend to be attentive by asking: "Uh, what perfume are you wearing?" Regardless of the brand the woman replies with, the man will compliment her: "It’s lovely!" The problem lies in the word "wear." Anyone who has learned a few ABCs knows that "wear" means "to wear clothes." Thus, the "certain group" lights up: "Wow! Wearing perfume—how chic and trendy!" And so, this Chinese expression was born.
However, perhaps they didn’t know (too poor in English) or pretended not to know (mentally impaired), "wear" has many other meanings besides "to wear." Translating it into Chinese requires different words; otherwise, it becomes a clumsy, literal, or forced translation. For example, "wear glasses" or "wear diamonds" should be translated as "wearing glasses" or "wearing diamond jewelry," not "wearing glasses" or "wearing diamonds." Therefore, the English phrase is best translated as: "What perfume are you applying?"
But for the self-proclaimed superior "certain group," even their sweat is fragrant (as Lu Xun once said, Lin MMs sweat fragrantly, while Jiao Da GGs sweat stinkily), let alone their perfume. The brands they use are called "poisons," "rat poison," "CDs," or "VCDs." If they were to use verbs like "apply" or "rub," as Jiao Da GGs do, wouldn’t their "fragrance" be ruined? As Lin MMs would say, they’d be "overwhelmed" to death!
Thus, the most vulgar example of this expression is an ad for Chanel No. 5: The glamorous goddess Marilyn Monroe half-closes her eyes, her languid and magnetic voice telling people, "At night, I only 'wear' Chanel No. 5." In English, this might play on the double meaning of "wear"; but in Chinese, since the double meaning doesn’t hold, it leaves only blatant seduction. See? Even a small mistranslation, while making language "trendy," carries arrogance, foreign worship, and other human weaknesses, reflecting the of the resentful "certain group."
But if you were to "wear" perfume like clothes, how many milliliters or liters would you need? As a result, street vendors would naturally flood the market with fake "poisons" and fake "CDs."
P8-10