Let the child stay away from internet addiction from the heart

Author: Wei Yali
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-02-01
Features:
1. Emergency Phone "SOS" Psychological Therapy - Full Realistic Depiction
"Son Says He Wants to Rule the World!"
Half a year ago, one afternoon, I finished a psychological therapy session and had just stepped out of the treatment room when my assistant urgently told me, "A lady is about to call you. She's from another province, and her child's situation is very urgent. She's already called a few times and wants to talk to you." Before the assistant could finish, the phone rang—it was indeed that lady. Her voice, thick with a southern accent, burst into a tirade the moment she heard my name. Her son was in middle school, and she had put a lot of effort into educating him, but he showed no gratitude, constantly opposing her and disliking studying. He was obsessed with video games and refused to do homework when he came home every day, often arguing with his parents. What worried her most was that her son exhibited clear antisocial tendencies—he hated his parents and teachers, writing disturbing things in his diary about wanting to take revenge on his mother and teachers, and even wanting to rule the world. Terrified, she and her husband didn't know what to do.
"I happened to see your two books, Parent-Child Relationship Communication Skills and Parent-Child Relationship Success Skills, in a bookstore yesterday, and the moment I read them, I called you. It’s like grabbing a lifeline. Teacher Wei, please, you must help us, this poor couple, save our son. Otherwise, he’ll be ruined, and who knows what he might do."
From her description, her son indeed had serious psychological and behavioral issues—not only was he obsessed with video games but also displayed strong aggressive tendencies and impulsivity. My heart grew heavy. Why would a fourteen- or fifteen-year-old, at the height of adolescence, have such a twisted mentality? I deeply understood the mother's anxiety on the other end of the line, so I agreed to adjust my schedule and arrange a phone consultation for them that evening. I wanted to talk to her son first to understand how his problems had developed.
As the appointed time approached, I couldn’t shake a faint worry: Given his intense opposition to his mother, would he be willing to talk to me? Would he trust this stranger thousands of miles away? Should I tell him about the information I'd gathered from his mother? But no matter what, I had enough confidence, because as the founder of person-centered therapy, Carl Rogers once said, "Human nature is fundamentally trustworthy, and everyone has a tendency toward self-actualization." A person's basic nature, when free to express itself, is constructive and trustworthy. I believed that by freeing him from his defensive mindset and helping him open up to his needs across all areas of his life and to the demands of his environment and society, I could trust his response to be positive, forward-moving, and constructive.
"I’m definitely not her biological child. An alien threw me at her doorstep."
"Hello! Are you Xia Jin?"
"Yes."
"My name is Wei Yali, and I’m a psychologist and an expert in parent-child relationship psychology. Has your mother ever told you about me?"
"Oh, she has." His voice was low and quick, and if you weren’t attentive, you might not have caught it. But I felt more at ease—though he only made vague sounds, he hadn’t outright refused, and that was a good start.
"Your mother called me today after reading my books. She shared some of your situation. Of course, it’s not pleasant, but Xia Jin, without sufficient evidence, I believe you’re a good child. I trust that the things your mother said about you must have a reason—you must have had enough justification to think and act that way."
"If you trust me, can we talk? Whether it involves your parents or teachers, I’ll help you. Help you do what you truly want to do, help you become the person you truly want to be!"
A silence followed, and all I could hear on the other end was his breathing.
"Please trust me, I really want to help you."
Finally, he spoke from the heart, though it was only one sentence: "My mother beats me all the time, and I hate her." Hearing that, I felt a sense of relief.
"When did she start beating you? Was it more when you were young, or recently?"
"I don’t know. Always. When I was young, she beat me for being mischievous, for poor TV posture, for not studying diligently, for poor grades—anything, really. She’d hit me without cause. In third grade, I wanted to learn martial arts and secretly signed up with my own savings. When she found out, she beat me badly." He spoke numbly, quickly, as if he weren’t even talking about his own life.
"Is that right? It sounds like you grew up under your mother’s beatings. It must have been hard."
"I’m used to it. When I was in sixth grade, I was always exhausted from school. I loved cartoons, and after homework, I really wanted to watch a bit more, but every time I tried, my mother would scold me for hours, calling me lazy and saying I was only enthusiastic about watching TV. When I defended myself, she’d say, ‘You dare argue with me!’ and then hit me again. Over a year, she hit me at least ten or twenty times. Last semester, because I failed a subject, she hit me every few days."
P1-3