Teach children to be grateful

Author: Tang Junbo, Zu Xia
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-08-01
Features: Gratitude for family love is the prerequisite for understanding gratitude. Family love is the foundation of all emotions. American humanistic psychologist Maslow categorized all human needs into two major categories: basic survival needs such as food and warmth, and safety, which are essential for life and death. The needs for love, belonging, self-esteem, respect, and self-actualization, on the other hand, promote personal growth and are called growth needs. It is not difficult to understand that the fulfillment of basic needs is the prerequisite for pursuing growth needs, and the conditions for meeting an individual's basic needs can only initially come from the strong bond of blood ties between parents and their children. Emotions and feelings are the inner experience of whether a person's needs are met, so the feelings toward parents can be understood as the prototype of a person's emotions toward others and society. In other words, the family love experienced by children is the foundation of all other emotions. Therefore, understanding gratitude for family love is the prerequisite for understanding gratitude, and neglecting family love leaves a missing in the entire emotional structure. Nowadays, many children lack a deep understanding of family love. Some students studying away from home write home with only a few words, directly asking for money. Some children spend parents' money on high-end consumption without understanding their parents' hardships. Others are addicted to the internet and cannot control themselves, making their hardworking parents heartbroken—truly a case of "not knowing parental love in youth." If children do not appreciate their parents, how can they love their hometown or their country? How can they be grateful for life and society? Is it really only when children experience the ups and downs of life that they understand the depth of parental love? We must reflect on the shortcomings of current family and school education. Nowadays, many parents, even educators, are only concerned with children passing university entrance exams and have not given enough attention or guidance to family love education. First, parents must learn from the details of daily life how to educate their children. Most Chinese parents are too indulgent when educating their children, and their unconditional has produced a generation of self-centered children with poor independence. Second, with the education of parents being neglected, primary and secondary education has also failed to keep up. Under the magic of the college entrance exam, they have become loyal followers of the score-obsessed system, which has made the gaps in family love education even larger. There are not only fewer teachers of moral education and mental health education but also insufficient attention to them. Under the influence of a single value orientation, nurturing people has become insignificant. Finally, the differences in educational concepts between Eastern and Western cultures are also one of the reasons why Chinese children are dependent on their parents and take family love for granted. Chinese schools and society have not provided teenagers with enough educational opportunities and practical space to develop self-reliance, which has led to a general lack of independence among Chinese children. P17-18