Attached to the Gate Mountain

Author: Wang Zengfu / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-08-01
Features: A young man, carrying a suitcase, walked out of the Liaoning Provincial Youth Detention Center at a steady pace. Stepping out the gate, he squinted his eyes and frowned, as if the bright sunlight at 9:30 in the morning was too harsh, making his eyes uncomfortable. Looking back at the massive, dark iron gate, a wave of emotion surged through his heart: Ah, this very barrier mercilessly separated people into heaven and hell. Inside the high walls and barbed wire were confinement, narrowness, darkness, humiliation, and the loss of personal freedom. Outside the high walls and barbed wire were openness, vastness, light, dignity, and the free soaring of human nature. Man! He twisted his body, and in front of him was a narrow road. He closed his eyes slightly and stood there silently, as if savoring his nearly ten months in prison, as if contemplating his future life, and as if waiting for his family's arrival. In truth, he knew no one would come. His father had spent his entire life in the mountains, never having left them once; his mother was even worse, having always been surrounded by the mountains since marrying into the Guanmenshan family. His adoptive father couldn’t come either, as his adoptive mother was in poor health. The only one who could come was Sister Xianglan, if she hadn’t left. But she had already left, and he knew her departure was because she didn’t want to see him again, though she did it for his future happiness.
“Ah! No one will come now.” Though disappointed, he still looked around, displaying the characteristic expression of a person in dire straits: hoping for a sudden appearance of family, hoping for an unexpected surprise. However, this was only a fleeting moment. He turned back to gaze at the high walls, barbed wire, watchtowers, and the guards standing at attention with their rifles, then abruptly twisted his body and strode forward with determination. He would never want to see this prison again in his life.
After getting off the train, he hurriedly took a bus home. Around two in the afternoon, while waiting for the bus, he bought four street pies near the passenger station and carelessly ate a few, not even knowing what they tasted like. He was truly starving. This was the first time he had ever traveled far. When he came, he rode in a prison van, his grief almost drowning everything, leaving him with no mind for anything else. Now, the only thing he could be sure of was that he was probably on the same road as before, with nothing else known.
Now, his expression was grim, and he still had no other thoughts, quickly closing his eyes when he got on the bus. Though the noise on the bus sometimes forced him to open his eyes, he merely stared blankly out the window. The lush, layered green mountains in the distance and the bustling urban scenery failed to move his heart at all. He quickly closed his eyes again, lost in thought.
Along the way, he thought of his family. The extremely fearful gaze of Sister Xianglan when he was severely injured, the wailing and kicking of his mother and Sister Xianglan when he was pushed onto the prison van, and the dazed, sorrowful expressions of his father and adoptive father—all were forever etched in his mind. Remembering these scenes of sorrow, his heart felt as if it were being pierced by a knife! Ah, he would rather endure all the pain than bring even the slightest injustice or misfortune to his family.
Alas, it had been almost a year, and he didn’t know how his parents were doing now. Though Sister Xianglan said the old people were doing well during her visit, and though she always wrote in her letters that they were fine, the (longing) only grew heavier and deeper over time. In prison, whenever a festival arrived, looking at the much better food than usual would always bring a wave of sorrow to his heart, followed by the images of Sister Xianglan and his parents appearing in his mind.
It had been more than half a year since he last heard from Sister Xianglan. He didn’t know where she was now and reached out to touch the last letter she had sent, as if afraid of losing it. In truth, he didn’t need to read it again, as he had already read it countless times, almost memorizing it. As long as he closed his eyes, the words in the letter would clearly appear in his mind, as if carved by a knife.
For a fleeting moment, he was once again moved by Sister Xianglan’s deep affection and unwavering perseverance. Tears filled his eyes, and her frail, sorrowful appearance, her forced calm and smiling face as she stood by her parents—these images filled his mind. However, what still troubled him deeply was her departure! How many times had he bitterly thought, “You left, where do you think you’ll go? You haven’t even left China yet! I have to find you! Even if it’s to the ends of the earth.” For months, he had often been unable to control his thoughts. Now, he clutched his arms tightly, gritted his teeth, and still looked resentful, his dark eyes blazing with anger.
Yes, he was no more than twenty years old, after all.
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