Unlearn at Harvard - Life Philosophy Taught by 100 World-Famous People to Teenagers

Author: Hu Baolin / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-06-01
Features: Wearing designer brands does not mean taste; taste lies in the refinement of our daily lives, and refinement is everywhere. During university, there was a young man named Xiao Hui from a remote mountainous area in my friend's dormitory. It was said that every time he went home, he had to take a train, then a bus, followed by a horse, and finally walk for miles. His home was so remote that it was beyond imagination. After we became close friends, he told us about his mother's story. Through his narration, my friends felt as if they saw a slender and beautiful mother living in hardship. Her often-repeated saying was, "Smile when it's dirty, not when it's patched." She made white shirts and white-edged shoes for her children, teaching the children in rough clothes the meaning of neatness and order. He said that his mother's words and actions taught him and his siblings that even on poor soil, beautiful flowers could grow. Influenced by his mother's philosophy, his life was poor but exquisite. The friend in the same dormitory as Xiao Hui grew up in a wealthy family. His parents had five children, and he was the only son. When he went to university, his mother bought him ten sets of clothes at once, but none of them made him look good. He always carelessly threw them aside, wearing them (wrinkled and messy) whenever he wanted, and his hair would always become "wild and untamed" in the morning, no matter how he combed it. "Everything is in chaos" was his habitual saying. He could never understand why his bed was messy no matter how he looked at it, while the bed across from him, with its faded sheets, was always neatly made. This kind of meticulous refinement in life, integrated into a person's blood, life, and actions, forms noble taste and reveals extraordinary cultivation, exuding a captivating elegance. This refined life depends on our minds and habits, not on the superiority or inferiority of our environment. The more this refined life comes from a harsh environment, the more awe-inspiring the natural character it cultivates in a person, and the stronger their ability to rise above that environment. Because everything shows: though he was born into such an environment, he has surpassed it. This environment no longer suits him, and he belongs to a better one. Everything about him shows that he deserves better. This refined life, as a form of wealth that elevates a person, is also reflected in the lives of Hollywood star Audrey Hepburn and her costume designer. At the time, they were both young and unknown, unsure of their futures, but they naturally believed they would be part of the upper class. This had nothing to do with money, status, power, or family background, but rather stemmed from their belief in excellence, their diligence and talent in work, and the innate elegance that money could never buy. A person's taste is not formed overnight. Taste refers to character, demeanor, temperament, and cultivation. Whether a person has taste does not depend on whether they have financial backing or good looks and physique, but on their moral character, or "virtue," as the saying goes, "A person with knowledge and culture naturally exudes elegance." Here, "knowledge and culture" refers not only to learning but also to the good moral character nurtured by it. Bacon once said, "Some elderly people are quite charming because of their elegant and beautiful demeanor. 'Even the decline of a beauty is still beautiful.' But some young people, though beautiful, lack the refined cultivation to deserve praise." Hong Yingming, an ancient figure, discussed such people in his work The Root of Vegetables. Even though their families were poor, they always kept their homes clean; even though the girls were poor, they always kept their hair neatly combed. Hong Yingming praised their demeanor: "Though they could not be called wealthy or glamorous, their grace was so refined and elegant." "Poor families sweep the floor clean; poor girls comb their hair neatly," Hong Yingming wrote. Though they were poor, they loved and appreciated life, maintaining good habits of cleanliness and self-discipline. This elegance, not allowing poverty to make them "give up," is truly noble taste. Whether a person has taste does not depend on their status, wealth, education, or appearance, but on their character, morality, cultivation, cultural depth, and inner qualities—these spiritual aspects. With inner perfection and fulfillment, even a "poor girl" can exude elegance; without it, even a "noble gentleman" may lack taste. The great German writer Goethe said, "Actions are like mirrors; in front of them, everyone reveals their true selves." Shakespeare said, "Clothing often reflects a person's character." Hugo said, "A person's face often reflects their inner world. To think that thoughts are formless and colorless is a mistake." Taste is the unity of a person's inner qualities and outer image. It is impossible to imagine a person with vulgar manners, coarse speech, and sloppy attire having elegant taste. When Cao Cao was enfeoffed as the King of Wei, he was to meet an envoy from the Xiongnu. Believing his appearance was not "impressive" enough to inspire awe in the distant country, he had his subordinates replace him in the meeting, while he stood by holding a sword. After the meeting, Cao Cao sent someone to ask the Xiongnu envoy about his impression of the King of Wei. The envoy said, "The King of Wei is very imposing, but the man holding the sword beside him has a more heroic aura." The German writer Schwab said, "A person's character is like the fragrance of a flower." We must carefully nurture and cultivate our refined taste, letting it emit a pleasant fragrance. And this is not achieved by wearing gold and silver, sipping a cup of fine coffee, or driving a luxury car and frequenting several five-star hotels. A wise person once said, "Character cannot be bought in the market; it must be shaped diligently." The formation of a person's taste is like taking traditional Chinese medicine—it is slowly nurtured. We see that those with noble characters and outstanding taste throughout history, both in the past and the present, have all paid great attention to this "shaping" and "nurturing." A person with taste must have elegant demeanor, but elegance does not have a fixed pattern. Different kinds of demeanor have different kinds of elegance. Some are passionate, some are quiet, some are decisive, some are cautious, some are agile, some are solemn, some are gentle and refined, some are graceful and dignified, some are affectionate, and some are deep and reserved. Of course, it is not easy to give a certain demeanor a specific character. It requires a high cultural level and exposure to beauty. Using music, chess, calligraphy, and painting to improve taste has been a choice for many scholars and artists throughout history. Through these arts, people can meet friends through art, relieve worries in leisure, cultivate character through perseverance, and express their aspirations through talent. In summary, there are four characteristics: combining movement and stillness, blending the ordinary and the refined, unifying knowledge and action, and achieving success in both public and private life. The story of "High Mountains and Flowing Waters" seeking a kindred spirit has been passed down through the ages, embodying people's longing for such a connection. Yu Boya, a minister of the Jin State, considered the woodcutter Zhong Ziqi his kindred spirit purely by chance. During a battle against encirclement, Chen Yi went to play chess with an old man and was deeply inspired by his friend's enthusiasm. The old man deliberately lost to Chen Yi the first time to boost his morale, but won the second time to temper his pride. As for meeting lifelong friends or partners because of calligraphy or painting, it is even more common in novels. In the TV series The Legend of Huahuo, Zhipi attracted the attention of Emperor Qianlong because of her deep skills in music, chess, calligraphy, and painting. Gradually, she won his favor and, in the end, conquered him with her high taste, achieving her wish to "recognize her father." Exquisite living is everywhere. A tidy desk, a clean bed—all reveal a person's taste in life. Taking up the piano or painting in your free time not only refines your body and mind but also showcases your taste in life. P1-4