Love and Life - Japanese Sentiments That Touch Your Life (Japanese-Chinese Bilingual Version)

Author: Kou Qi Ming
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-08-01
Features: After the ballerina, I accompanied the minister as an interpreter to Russia. I received many letters from Elis, who was pregnant. "I can deeply feel the depth of your feelings for me. If you return to the East as a trusted minister, I will join you. No matter what happens, please don't abandon me." With these words from Elis, I understood my position. I had only thought about my work. But the reality was that Elis was isolated and trying to gain the minister's trust to return to Japan. I had sworn that I would not become a mechanical figure without a true self. But now, I am merely a puppet of Minister Tian Fang.
On New Year's Day, I returned to Berlin. "Welcome home. If you hadn't returned, I would surely have died." My feelings had been unsettled, with homesickness and the desire for success sometimes overpowering my love for Elis. But in this moment, my confusion vanished, and I held her. Elis had prepared a diaper and wished to give the child my surname.
A few days later, I was invited by the minister. He recognized my language skills and, having heard from Kazawa that I had no affairs, recommended accompanying me to Japan. I felt heavy pressure, knowing that if I refused, I would lose everything, cut off the path to redemption, and be buried in this foreign land. "Understood," I replied recklessly.
Returning to Elis, what could I say? I left the hotel and wandered aimlessly in the snow, filled with the thought, "I am a sinner who cannot be forgiven." When I finally reached Elis, I collapsed right there.
After weeks of recovery, when I finally regained consciousness, I was shocked by Elis's drastic change. She was emaciated, her bloodshot eyes sunken, and her cheeks hollowed. Kazawa had mentally destroyed her. Kazawa had told Elis everything, and Elis is said to have fainted, screaming, "My Kotaro, you deceived me like this!" When I came to, I couldn’t recognize her, and she was only holding a diaper to her face. The doctor said there was no hope of recovery from the baroniosis, a disease caused by mental exhaustion. How many times had I cried while holding the living corpse that was Elis?
When setting off for home with the minister, I gave Elis’s mother living expenses and asked her to care for the child inside the madwoman’s body. Ah, a friend as kind as Kazawa Kenkichi is hard to come by. Yet, even today, a trace of hatred for him lingered in my mind.
P77-79