How Excellent Children Are Made (Full Three Volumes)

Author: Shen Han
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-05-01
Features: Today, the era we live in is one full of competition. Although we do not advocate striving for superiority in everything, being proactive and seizing opportunities are essential conditions for survival and development. While parents cultivate cooperation and humility in their children, they should also instill a sense of competition, helping them move beyond the misconception of "giving way."
For example, in the case of Yangyang, his parents initially focused more on teaching him to be humble toward his younger brother rather than requiring the younger brother to respect him or helping Yangyang improve his leadership skills. As a result, Yangyang only knew to let his younger brother take his toys and "step aside to watch" without knowing how to argue his case or come up with different solutions to lead his younger brother in cooperative play, such as jointly organizing and tidying up toys. When he applied these family interaction skills to his peers at kindergarten, he became someone who only yielded to others, refused to express his own opinions, and was unable to lead others in games.
When someone first lets others win, they earn respect and gratitude. But when they give away all their opportunities to others, they only receive sympathy, and sometimes even indifference or disdain. Yangyang, who only knew how to "yield," found himself in the latter situation—he was distant from other children and unable to integrate into their games. Fortunately, the teacher noticed this situation in time. With the joint efforts of parents and teachers, and through nightly "competitive games" with parents, Yangyang gradually learned to compete, express himself, and prove his abilities to others. Of course, he also earned the respect, admiration, and closeness of his peers.
"Survival of the fittest" applies not only to nature but also to the social world. In fact, competition is everywhere and at all times. No one has ever escaped competition in various situations and circumstances, even children as young as two or three can show the earliest signs of competition. As children enter primary school, the arenas and opportunities for competition expand further. For children, the benefits of competition lie in fully realizing their potential, stimulating their initiative and enthusiasm, and improving their learning efficiency. Under competitive conditions, children often study harder and gain a more realistic evaluation of their abilities. Additionally, competition makes collective life more vibrant, preventing monotony in daily routines and enhancing the joy of learning and living.
Therefore, parents should strive to create a competitive atmosphere for their children, inspiring them to strive forward. For parents, a convenient and effective way is to engage in more "competitive games" with their children. Through these games, children can gradually develop a sense of competition, learn to unleash their potential, and prove themselves through their own efforts and struggles to earn the respect of others.
Of course, parents must be mindful that in competitive games, they should not always yield to their children or consistently play the role of the loser to please them. However, such parents are not uncommon in real life. For example, on the sports field, parents are left far behind by their children; in battles, parents are defeated and humbled by their children; in strength contests, parents are as fragile as balloons, unable to withstand even a slight challenge. They believe that letting children win not only makes them happy and cheerful but also fosters their self-confidence and drive to excel.
Clearly, this view is incorrect, and such practices undoubtedly do more harm than good to a child's growth. If adults always let children win, once they get used to it, their self-esteem will become increasingly fragile, and they may not tolerate even a single failure—sometimes a single critical word can make them burst into tears. But children will eventually grow up and face a highly competitive society. In that society, there is no room for yielding or equality, and tears will not be believed. To help children better adapt to society in the future, parents should correctly cultivate their competitive awareness, teaching them that only through their own efforts can they succeed in competition. Moreover, they must understand that winning brings joy, but losing should not lead to discouragement.
Therefore, when adults interact with children at home, they should not always let them be the victors. Instead, children should experience both wins and losses, learning to develop a mature and open-minded attitude toward them.
In summary, if parents hope for their children to soar high and conquer the skies in their future journey, they must pay attention to cultivating their competitive awareness and skills. They should work to purify the competitive environment and create a positive atmosphere, allowing children to learn and practice competition from a young age, growing up in a healthy competitive environment!
P58-P60