Listen to the meaning beyond the words - language is originally transparent

Author: Li Yue
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-07-01
Features: What to do when encountering someone who can't express themselves clearly Sometimes we waste a lot of valuable time but still fail to get certain information from someone who is incoherent. At this point, their rambling has become an obstacle between them and our listening goal. Scientific research has proven that others' incoherence can easily irritate us, reducing our mental capacity, making it difficult for us to grasp and understand even the key points they mention. A study from a university's psychology department found, "Chatterboxes who talk excessively are primarily responsible for reduced work efficiency and performance decline." These chatterers distract listeners, make them nervous, and lower their ability to absorb and remember information. Below, we introduce four highly effective strategies to shut down the incoherent speaker's rambling, quickly guide them to the key points of their speech, and allow your mental capacity to resume functioning.
(1) Ask them what they want to say The key points of a person who is incoherent and almost off-topic can be politely interrupted, even if it requires repeating two or three times without hesitation. What we need to remember is to be polite; our goal is to get them to state the key points, not to argue with them. If you make the incoherent speaker stop and listen to you, you can admit that you're a bit confused and ask them to summarize what they just said to help you understand. By taking responsibility for your own confusion, you avoid making them defensive. By asking for your help to understand, you give them a chance to demonstrate their expertise, showing that they can even teach outsiders, so they will put in extra effort to explain it clearly to you.
(2) Ask them what their conclusion is This is a variation of the first method. Sometimes, when you ask the speaker what the key points of their speech are, you may not get an answer. At this point, changing your question might work. Whether you believe it or not, for some people, the meaning of "key points" and "conclusions" is different. If you ask them for a "key point," they may ramble on trying to find one, but if you ask them for a "conclusion," they can usually state it in a short time.
(3) Guess what they want to say In some extreme cases, no matter how hard you try, the incoherent speaker cannot express the key points they want to say in words. If this is the case, your only option is to speak for them. Guess what they want to say and ask them if you're right. If they say "yes," you're free. If you guess incorrectly, during the correction process, the incoherent speaker might clarify their point of view. Even if they just point out that your guess was wrong and then continue to ramble on, you've taken a step closer to your goal. At least you've eliminated one point that could cause misunderstanding. Before successfully reaching your goal, you must politely and firmly repeat the above process.
(4) Seek help from others If all the above methods fail, you can also seek help from other listeners. When you think there's nothing more you can do to make the speaker