Carnegie's Success Principles - Platinum 70 Years

Author: Dale Carnegie (USA) / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-07-01
Features: A person who has the courage to admit their own mistakes can also gain a sense of satisfaction. This is not just about eliminating feelings of guilt and the atmosphere of self-defense, but also beneficial for solving substantive issues. Bruce Harvey was a manager at a company in Abqaiq, New Mexico. While approving a salary for an employee on sick leave, he made a mistake and gave them the full salary. Upon realizing the error, he told the employee that it was necessary to correct it and deduct the overpaid amount in the next salary payment. The employee said this would cause him severe difficulties, so he requested that the overpaid salary be deducted in installments. However, this required approval from the general manager. "I knew this would make the boss very unhappy," Harvey said. "When I was considering how to handle this better, I realized that everything was due to my carelessness. Therefore, I had to admit the mistake to the boss." I walked into the boss's office and told him about the mistake, but he flew into a rage, saying it should have been the fault of the human resources department, and I insisted it was my mistake. He then loudly accused the finance department of the error, but I still said it was my mistake. He blamed two other people in the office, but I continued to insist it was my mistake. Finally, he said to me, 'Then go fix the problem!' The error was corrected, and no one was caused any trouble. I felt quite good about myself because I could handle such an emergency and had the courage to admit my mistake. From then on, the boss valued me more."
Any fool will defend their mistake—and most foolish people do just that. But those who have the courage to admit their errors will earn others' understanding and give a humble and noble impression. For example, a great example from American history is the story of General Lee, who took full responsibility for the failure of Pickett's Charge at Gettysburg and blamed himself for it. Among all the generals in history, few possessed the courage and character he did to admit his own faults.
Herbert Bayard was a nationally renowned creative writer whose satirical writings often drew strong resentment from others. But Bayard often employed his rare interpersonal skills to turn his enemies into friends. For instance, when some angry readers wrote to disagree with one of his articles and ended their letters by cursing Bayard, he would respond in this way: "Upon reflection, I don't entirely agree with myself either. What I wrote yesterday may not satisfy me today. I'm glad to hear your views on such matters. If you happen to be nearby next time, you're welcome to visit, and we can exchange ideas. Wishing you well. Sincerely, H. Bayard"
What can you say to someone who treats you like that? When we are right, we should gently and skillfully win others' agreement; but when we are wrong—when we are honest with ourselves, which is often the case—we should quickly and sincerely admit our mistakes. This can have astonishing effects and, in many circumstances, far outweigh our attempts at self-defense. Believe it or not. Don't forget this old saying: "You never get satisfaction from fighting; but by yielding, you will gain more than you expect." So, if you want to win others' agreement, please remember the third rule: If you are wrong, admit it quickly and honestly. P86-87