The Trick to Editing an Essay - Uncle Editor Talks About How to Edit an Essay

Author: Liu Bingyan / Country:
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-06-01
Features:
① Adding a comma here creates a pause in the tone, emphasizing the following "beautiful."
② The word "because" here is unnecessary.
③ This sentence is well-written, but considering the two metaphors that follow, it might be better to delete it. Including this sentence seems to affect the meaning of the following two, reducing the original expression effect.
④ Adding the word "just" intensifies the tone.
⑤ Using "we" here narrows the scope; removing it implies referring to "all campuses nationwide."
⑥ Although this sentence is vivid and playful, compared to "like red scarves" and "like national flags," it doesn’t seem as beautiful, so it’s better to delete it.
⑦ This sentence should be moved to the beginning of the second paragraph. Only by mentioning the flower stalks first can the following discussion of the flowers make sense.
⑧⑨ Adding a comma here emphasizes the shape of the flowers, which is exactly what is needed. Additionally, from a sense of rhythm, it should be said as "small on top, large below." Finally, this sentence should be moved after "The small flowers are like little bells."
⑩ Why make it as small as a needle when you can see it more clearly now? So, this sentence is meaningless and should be deleted.
⑾ The order of this sentence should still be adjusted.
Review:
Because the petunias are linked to National Day, they take on extraordinary significance in the article. This is one of the article’s most commendable aspects. Additionally, many sentences are vividly written, and the metaphors are accurate, which are also key reasons for the article’s success. It should be noted that the young author needs to work more on arranging the order of language. P49-50