Early Learning in the Jade Chamber

Author: Cheng Dengji (Ming Dynasty)
Publisher:
Publishing Date: 2006-05-01
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A solitary yin cannot produce life, and a solitary yang cannot grow; thus, heaven and earth are paired in yin and yang. Men take women as their homes, and women take men as their homes; thus, human life is companionship in marriage. When yin and yang are harmonious, then rain falls; when a couple is harmonious, then the family is established. The husband calls his wife "zhuojing" (my humble wife) or "neizi" (my inner child); the wife calls her husband "gaozhen" (my straw pestle) or "liangren" (my good man). When congratulating someone on their marriage, one says "gong xie kang li" (rejoice in companionship); when leaving something to one's wife, one says "gui yu xijun" (return it to my dear wife). Marrying a wife is called "shou shi" (taking a wife); taking a concubine is called "na chong" (taking a favorite); the principal wife is called "di" (the principal wife), and the concubines are called "shi" (concubines). One calls another's wife "zun furen" (honored lady), and one calls another's concubine "ru furen" (like a lady). "Jiefa" (tying hair at the wedding) refers to the first marriage, and "xu xian" (replacing a string) refers to remarriage. A woman's remarriage is called "zai jiao," and a man's widowhood is called "guan ju." "Like playing the se and qin together" describes harmonious couples, while "the se and qin are out of tune" describes discordant ones. "A hen crowing at dawn" compares a woman who dominates household affairs, while "the lioness roaring from the east" mocks a man who fears his wife. "Killing a wife to seek military merit" refers to Wu Qi's cruelty, while "steaming pears to divorce a wife" praises Zengzi for fulfilling filial piety. Zhang Chang painting his wife's eyebrows was amusing, while Dong Shi's loyalty to her husband was commendable. Ji Que and his wife showed mutual respect like guests, while Chen Zhongzi and his wife farmed for a living. "Not abandoning the humble beginnings" refers to Song Hong's words to Emperor Guangwu, while "raising the table in unison" describes Liang Hong and Meng Guang's virtue. Su Hui's woven palindrome and Le Chang's broken mirror symbolize the living separation of couples, while Zhang Zhan's mortar dream and Zhuangzi's drum song symbolize the death separation of couples. Bao Xuan's wife carrying a jar to fetch water exemplified obedience, while Qi Yu's wife spying on her husband to inspire him can be called a wise helper. It is strange that Mai Jun's wife left due to poverty, unaware that "water once poured cannot be recovered"; it is shameful that Xiangru's wife ran away at night, only recognizing the meaning of silk and zither. To know that self-cultivation leads to family harmony, and that a husband's righteousness naturally brings a wife's obedience. P48-49