Be Yourself - The Most Wise Way to Be - A Motivational Classic for a Lifetime of Benefits (Life Capital Classic Collection)

Author: Zheng Hongfeng
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-07-01
Features: Don't be afraid of making mistakes. Mistakes and trials pave a rugged and bumpy road. For those who are brave, tenacious, and adventurous, it is also a path to success. One of my friends opened her own interior decoration store. Recently, I accompanied her to visit a potential client, a very wealthy but somewhat eccentric old woman. "I doubt if I can get this job," she confided in me, "I heard she turned down all the stores in the city!" After surveying the entire house, my friend made her estimate. Suddenly, the old woman stared at her sharply and asked, "Have you ever made a mistake?" "Um—of course!" my friend replied, somewhat surprised. "Good," the old woman said, "I'll give you this job. I don't want to play with someone who has never had a chance to benefit from their past mistakes." Mistakes are not just an acceptable part of life, but also essential for a life of experience. If we cannot wisely use our mistakes, we can never master any skill. Shaw once said, "A person can only learn to skate by first wobbling and making themselves look like a fool. Indeed, in anything, only by bravely allowing yourself to be a fool can you make progress." But many of us, due to fear of potential failure and ridicule, deprive ourselves of the right to enjoy joy, adventure, or even just ordinary pleasures. They are too concerned with what others will think. This may damage our self-esteem, but in reality, most people never observe us as closely as we imagine, nor do they judge us as harshly. One of my friends who works as an editor seems very confident. Once, he admitted that he had watched others ski for years without daring to try, and the thought of possibly looking very foolish made him give up. Later, when he was already in his middle age, he finally gathered the courage to learn to ski because he realized he might never have the chance again. "Of course, I looked foolish when skiing," he happily admitted, "But I don't care. I'm doing what I've always wanted to do, and I'm very happy!" Other skiers not only didn't criticize him at all but praised his strong interest in learning to ski. Let us bravely face this fact! There will always be people who are more skilled than you in anything new you want to try. However, pursuing a fulfilling and beneficial life is not competitive; it is simply an individual's pursuit of happiness. For example, the purpose of painting on Sunday is not to exhibit the artwork in a modern art museum; they are simply satisfying their desire for art. Unrealistic standards of perfection will only force us to lose peace of mind. The comforting truth is that we are not perfect. The earlier we accept this, the sooner we can move toward our personal and professional goals. The vast majority of successful people in life are the rare few who have learned to bravely acknowledge both their achievements and their mistakes. When these people make mistakes, they do not waste their emotions and energy on futile regret. John D. Rockefeller Jr. once said in a reflection on his father, "I never heard him say a single word of regret. For him, what had happened was irreversible. How to compensate for losses, how to rebuild and restore, how to turn what seemed like failure into victory—these were the most urgent concerns of his entire life." Sometimes, parents who hope their children will excel set impossibly high expectations for them. "They so often tell their children that if they fail to meet the standards, it will disappoint their parents," wrote Bonaro W. Overstreet in Understanding Fear, "They actually make those children so afraid of failure that when they really encounter it, they become too easily discouraged." The important thing is to recognize that achievement always comes through a natural process of trial and error. "We tend to give children the finished products of human achievement—radios, telephones, medicines for healing," Charles F. Kettering, the inventor of the automobile, pointed out, "In doing so, we fail to tell them the painful process that led to these miracles. We should repeatedly emphasize that nothing succeeds at once." Many great achievements have been made through risky mistakes, which became stepping stones on the path to success. Young Winston Churchill made so many outrageous mistakes that newspapers accused him of "lack of caution and judgment." Fortunately, he did not give up his activities because of these accusations. Acknowledging mistakes requires a sense of humor. However, people often only adopt this wise attitude in their later years. But as Emerson said, "Every day that passes is gone. You have done all you could do. Some errors and foolish actions will inevitably creep in—forget them quickly! Tomorrow is a new day. Let us start it with joy and peace, in high spirits, so that your past foolishness will not hold you back." P25-27