Father's Responsibility - Cultural Figures Discuss Youth Education

Author: Xiao Long
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-06-01
Features: Discussing Family Education
Family is the first school of life. One's character, that which remains constant amidst changes, largely takes root in the family. Habits can shape one's nature, and friends can influence a person, but their influence pales in comparison to that of the family. The affairs of society and the nation are vast, yet who among the great figures who achieve these endeavors did not start as an infant in a family? Even the opinions and actions of the renowned and the extraordinary, which shock the world, often trace their origins to the thoughts instilled in them during their early years at home. Thus, it is rare to find the truly accomplished who did not come from a virtuous family. Is it not the foundation of a prosperous society and nation that virtuous families provide? The lessons imparted to children at a young age, even the smallest and most trivial matters, are often remembered throughout their lives. Therefore, children are like branches and stems to the roots of the elders. The climate of a day is often determined by the morning, and the course of a lifetime is often decided in infancy. How crucial is family education!
The way of family education begins with cultivating a virtuous family. When a child first leaves the and begins to develop awareness, it is like stepping out of a dark room into the light of day. Everything they perceive through their senses—objects, events—is new and delightful. With little experience, they cannot yet choose their actions freely: they naturally imitate everything around them. At this stage, if the things in their family are corrupted, their pure hearts will be stained with imperfections that last a lifetime. Otherwise, if their family is filled with virtues such as respect, integrity, and righteousness, how could their hearts be defiled? Those responsible for family education must first set a proper example.
Parents may have their own specific duties, but they also have a universal duty—one that accompanies every action, whether sitting, standing, eating, or sleeping—that is, family education. Whether choosing a profession or settling in a place, or even in matters of speech, diet, clothing, and utensils, everything in daily life must be evaluated for its impact on family education and chosen accordingly. The mother of Confucius moved three times before settling down, setting an example for generations. Parents should seize the right moments to impart teachings. When their children have questions, they must answer truthfully, not with baseless or absurd excuses. Once children gain knowledge to distinguish right from wrong, parents should monitor their behavior and encourage or discipline them at the right times to strengthen their inclinations toward good and aversion to evil. Neither excessive severity nor excessive leniency is appropriate—just the right balance between restraint and freedom.
Mothers tend to be more lenient, while fathers tend to be stricter. If a child's education is skewed, so will their nature. Therefore, to cultivate a balanced character, children must receive education that is neither too strict nor too lenient. As children grow, parents should assess their talents and abilities, carefully choose their careers, and guide them along the way. Young and impetuous, children often act without fully considering the consequences, making their early years of independence a dangerous time. Parents must be vigilant in monitoring their children's actions, encouraging and warning them as needed.