Life in Three Passages - Understanding Human Nature, Acquiring Worldly Wisdom, Observing Etiquette

Author: Chang Chenzi / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-07-01
Features: The greater the heart's capacity, the more emotions it can hold. The widest is the ocean, and the highest is the sky, but the widest and highest is the human heart. Those who are skilled in social interactions and deeply understand the world are often those with such a heart. We live in social groups, and conflicts and misunderstandings between people are common. How to handle these issues is a matter our ancestors left behind many brilliant thoughts and experiences for us to learn from. In the Ming Dynasty, Zhu Gun said in Observing Wei Zi: "A gentleman endures what others cannot endure, accepts what others cannot accept, and handles what others cannot handle." To treat others with kindness is not weakness but a manifestation of confidence and justice. Especially the high moral integrity of "repaying grievances with kindness" can make people reflect on themselves and be genuinely convinced. On the other hand, it can also put oneself in a favorable position in actions, gaining the support of public opinion and the crowd. President Lincoln is a role model in this regard. Once, a criticized President Lincoln for his attitude toward his enemies, asking, "Why do you try to be friends with them?" "You should try to destroy them," he retorted. Lincoln replied gently, "When I turn them into friends, am I not destroying my enemies?" This is the magnanimity of President Lincoln and his political strategy of "repaying grievances with kindness." "Repaying grievances with kindness" is not limited to politics but can extend to every corner of our lives. There is a very ordinary business story: A customer owed fifteen dollars to Ditto Woolen Company. One day, the customer angrily stormed into Mr. Ditto's office, saying he would not pay the debt and would never spend a cent on Ditto's products again. Mr. Ditto patiently let him vent his anger and then said, "I want to thank you for coming to Chicago to tell me this. You've helped me a great deal, because if our trust department bothered you, they might also bother other good customers, which would be too unfortunate. Believe me, I want to hear what you've told us more than you do." The customer never expected to hear such words. Mr. Ditto also assured him, saying, "We will write off this debt. You are a very meticulous person, and you only have one account to manage, while our employees have to handle thousands of accounts. Compared to them, you are less likely to make a mistake. Since you can no longer buy wool from us, I will recommend some other woolen companies to you." As a result, the customer placed an order larger than ever before. After his son was born, he named him Ditto. Later, he remained a friend and customer of Ditto's until his death. In daily life, it is inevitable to encounter hurt. Some people cannot let go of things, even over trivial matters like a sesame seed, and torture themselves by eating poorly and sleeping badly. Others feel that yielding is "losing face" or "being timid," so they always take a tough stance in non-principle conflicts, even resorting to violence, only to fail to resolve the and lose their own dignity while harming both parties' feelings. Therefore, every person should cultivate their magnanimity and develop a broad-minded heart. There is a saying: "Forbear for a moment, and the wind will be calm; retreat a step, and the sky will be vast." This shows that in dealing with others and interpersonal interactions, one should be magnanimous, endure one's own displeasure, and forgive others' minor faults. This is the demeanor of a gentleman and a practical of understanding human emotions and knowing the way of the world. The more tolerant you are, the more joyful you will be; the more tolerant you are, the more sincere you will be. In interpersonal interactions, maintaining a magnanimous heart and fully demonstrating your tolerant qualities will help you gain friends, affection, and support in your career. Let us all strive to be people of great tolerance and harmony! If you give others an inch, they will give you a mile; if you give others sincerity, they will give you a heartfelt response; if you show others tolerance in small matters, they will return you a broad heart. Let us be people of great tolerance and harmony, and...