Shakespeare's Works - Bedtime Stories for Middle School Students [I]

Author: (English) Shakespeare
Publisher:
Publication Date: 2006-06-01
Features:
Master Falstaff, don't persuade me; I must take this matter to the King's Bench. Even if he were twenty Sir John Falstaffs, he cannot bully Master Falstaff.
Master Slane, Master Falstaff is the justice of the peace of Gloucester, and also a spy.
Master Falstaff, yes, your nephew, and also a "justice."
Master Slane, yes, and also a "cripple." Father, I tell you, he was born a gentleman, and always signs his name with "Master," whether it be a document, a deed, an account, or a contract, it is always "Master Falstaff."
Master Falstaff, yes, for three hundred years, it has always been so.
Master Slane, his descendants wrote it like this before him, and his ancestors can write it like this after him; the coat of arms in their house, embroidered with twelve white eels, can prove it.
Master Falstaff, that is an old coat.
Master Evans, an old coat with twelve white lice on it would be a fine match; white lice are old friends of mankind and symbols of affection.
Master Falstaff, not lice, but "white eels" from the river, twelve of them on my old coat, on my old coat of arms.
Master Slane, I can "borrow" those twelve fish, Uncle.
Master Falstaff, you can, you can borrow from your wife's family after you are married.
Master Evans, the money in their house is all borrowed, that is bad.
Master Falstaff, there is nothing wrong with that.
Master Evans, that is bad, good Lord. If you have four skirts and someone "borrows" them, you will have none left.
But let us not dwell on that. If Sir Falstaff has offended you in any way, I am a clergyman, and of a charitable disposition, and I am very willing to help you two make peace.
Master Falstaff, I will take this matter to the Privy Council; this is sheer rebellion.
Master Evans, do not mention rebellion to the Privy Council, rebellion is an act of disrespect to God.
The Privy Council hopes to hear that all the people are reverent toward God and does not like to hear of any rebellion; you had better consider it.
Master Falstaff, Ha! By God's sake! If I were younger, I would settle it with him by the sword.
Master Evans, enemies should be made friends, and it is better for everyone to live in harmony. I have another plan in my mind, and if it succeeds, it will be a fine thing.
Uncle Peachum has a daughter named Anne, she is a fine girl.
Master Slane, Miss Anne? She has brown hair and speaks in a soft voice, like a woman.
Master Evans, exactly this girl, no mistake, there is no one like her.
Her grandfather, when he died—God receive him to his rest!—left her seven hundred pounds, and gold and silver, which will be hers when she is seventeen.
Now let us put those noisy matters aside and think of how to make Master Slane and Miss Peachum a match.
Master Falstaff, her grandfather left her seven hundred pounds?
Master Evans, yes, and money from her father as well.
Master Falstaff, I know this girl, and she is a good character.
Master Evans, seven hundred pounds and other, how could it be wrong?
Master Falstaff, very well, let us go see Uncle Peachum. Is Sir Falstaff inside as well?
Master Evans, Can I lie to you? I hate liars as much as I hate false words or dishonest people.
Sir John is inside, please bear with me for the sake of our friends. Let me knock. (Knocking) Who is there? God bless you and your family!
Peachum (inside) Who is there?
Master Evans, God bless you, you are welcome, and so are Master Falstaff and Master Slane. We have something to discuss with you, perhaps you will be pleased to hear it. (Peachum enters)
Peachum I am very pleased to see all of you looking so well.
Master Falstaff, I must thank you for the venison!
Master Falstaff, Uncle Peachum, I am very pleased to see you, and since you are kind-hearted, you must be blessed as well! The venison was killed with many knives, so it is not in good shape, please do not laugh.
How is your wife?—I thank you from the bottom of my heart!
Peachum I must thank you as well.
Master Falstaff I must thank you as well; to cut to the chase, I thank you.
Peachum Master Slane, I am very pleased to see you.
Master Slane, Uncle Peachum, how is your yellow-haired hunting dog? I heard it did not do well in the recent dog races, is that true?
Peachum That cannot be said.
Master Slane You still refuse to admit it, you still refuse to admit it.