Unleashing a Child's Potential - A Waldorf Parenting Guide

Author: (Eng) Martin Ross / Country:
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-06-01
Features: Emotional Overreaction is Harmful
Many people are prone to emotional overreaction when dealing with children, especially when they are apart. Emotional overreaction is not the genuine care we show when we tuck our children into bed at night, nor is it the deep affection we feel when we cuddle them and talk to them tenderly. Emotional overreaction occurs when we project our own imaginings onto children without paying attention to who they truly are. Fathers, who often spend less time with their children than mothers, may sometimes be more prone to emotional overreaction. Emotional overreaction is unproductive but can lead to overly high expectations and burdens for children, causing them to feel frustrated. Emotional overreaction manifests in many ways: viewing children as charming, innocent pets, dressing them in clothes adorned with frills, preferring large, stuffed plush toys, giving them big gifts after being away for a few days, mimicking children's speech, avoiding real-life problems, and making empty promises. If this behavior occurs between adults, at least they maintain a certain distance. But children cannot do this—they trust everything adults do. Unfortunately, emotional overreaction is easily exploited by marketers, and we are surrounded by temptations, forming certain habits. Foolish birthday cards and blinking-eyed dolls in airport stores make fathers who have returned from business trips feel guilty if they don’t buy gifts. Do fathers who return from business trips have to buy gifts? Won’t there be an overflow of gifts? Are there other ways to show love? Not everything has to be a gift to express parental love. You can bring back local customs and traditions from the place you traveled to, such as stories, children’s songs, or specialty foods. My colleague always brings back a fresh loaf of bread when she returns from business trips. It’s a simple gift, yet it’s enough to spark lively conversations at the dinner table. The problem is that emotional overreaction does not respect a child’s true nature and gives them too little space to develop on their own. In extreme cases, children can become the products of adult fantasies. Parents who understand their children will respect their individuality. Therefore: Emotional overreaction means projecting one’s own imaginings onto a child, and these imaginings do not align with the child’s true nature. If a child does not conform to the parents’ imaginings, emotional overreaction becomes a burden for the child.