Discussing Basic Morality and Basic Cultivation

Author: Chen Zunan/Origin Country:
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2002-07-01
Features: As mentioned earlier, hosting a banquet is a form of socializing, with the main purpose not being to eat, but to foster friendship, strengthen bonds, and make new connections. Therefore, one should not remain silent and only focus on eating at the table; it is essential to engage in conversation. During the meal, staying completely silent is considered impolite. Even if you are meeting someone for the first time and they are quite introverted, not speaking at all throughout the entire process would also be impolite. However, it is also inappropriate to launch into long monologues or boast excessively, as if everyone has come to listen to you give a speech. The conversation should be appropriate—avoid stirring up any embarrassing topics for the guests or speaking in a way that might hurt their feelings. Sharing jokes at the table is also necessary, as it can add to the joy of the banquet, but it should still be done appropriately.
Once, a high-ranking official from the Ministry of Education visited a county for an inspection. The county's education budget was tight, so the county magistrate hosted a banquet for the guests in the evening, inviting leaders from relevant economic departments in hopes of securing future funding allocations. A large platter of river crabs was served. The accompanying officials from the Ministry said, "If we don’t have the 'three main dishes' (crabs, eel, and turtle), why are we serving them?" As the host passed each crab to the guests, they said, "Today, we’re serving ‘horizontal connections’." This made the leaders from a few affiliated units and the economic department feel a bit awkward. Next, a plate of steamed river eel was brought out. The Ministry leader politely remarked, "You’re too fancy." The host, thinking they were witty, said, "This isn’t eel—it’s ‘clean and incorruptible’ (‘steamed without joints’)." The joke was somewhat amusing, and everyone laughed, but how could the high-ranking official from the Ministry stomach it? It was tantamount to mocking the guests. Such jokes were highly inappropriate.
During the meal, the host, to show their enthusiasm for the guests, would often serve them food. The guests should not react passively; instead, they should say "thank you" or offer, "I’ll get it myself," as a gesture of modesty. When elders pour drinks for themselves, they should stand up or say, "I’m not worthy." In a restaurant, when waitstaff pour drinks for you or hand you a towel, a nod of gratitude is appropriate to show respect for their hard work.