100 Letters from Teacher Wang Xin to Parents

Author: Wang Xin
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-04-01
Features: Hui Ru: Hello! Recently, I read an essay written by your son and was deeply moved. I’d like to talk to you about it, and I hope you don’t mind. The title of his essay is: "How Can Grandpa Come Back to Live with Us?" The essay reflects his confusion about why Grandpa can’t move back in with you. The story begins when he goes to deliver something to Grandpa on a Sunday. I’ll quote a part for you: Grandpa’s living room is small and dark, with only a single bed and a small table. As soon as I stepped inside, I was hit by a strong smell of smoke. It turned out that Grandpa was sitting by the bed, smoking. I immediately thought of the reason my mother gave for not letting Grandpa live with us and said, "Grandpa, please don’t smoke anymore. Smoking is harmful to your health. If you quit, my mother will agree to let you live with me." Grandpa coughed twice and weakly replied, "Silly grandson, even if I don’t smoke, your mother won’t let me live with you. Then she’ll find another reason to refuse!" "That’s not right. When Grandma was alive, weren’t you living with us then?" I asked Grandpa. Grandpa coughed again, "Hmph, what do you know? I was just taking advantage of your grandmother’s kindness!" As he said that, Grandpa wiped his eyes, and I could tell he was sad. I didn’t fully understand what Grandpa meant, but I knew he didn’t trust my mother, and that made me feel torn. After talking with Grandpa for a while, I had to leave because my mother had set a time for me to come home. As soon as I got home, I said to my mother, "Mom, if Grandpa stops smoking, will you agree to let him move back into our house?" My mother glanced at me and coldly replied, "He stops smoking, and he’ll be as hardworking as your grandmother? He’ll be clean? As if!" My mother’s words left me baffled. She clearly said that Grandpa’s smoking was the reason she was uncomfortable with the smoke and why Dad moved him out. How could there be so many excuses to keep Grandpa from moving back after he quit smoking? I really wanted to ask someone how to make my Grandpa move back home to live. After reading my son’s essay, I was deeply moved by his filial piety toward his Grandpa. It was clear that he loved his Grandpa and wanted to live with him. Faced with his hopes, how should you respond? I don’t intend to meddle in your family matters, but I’d like to tell you that children are very sensitive. What happens between adults often leaves a deep impression on them, and they’ll make their own judgments based on these events. Sometimes, these judgments can affect their principles in the future. I remember an ancient Chinese story about a young couple who were unkind to their elderly parents. They ate with fine porcelain bowls themselves but gave their parents a wooden bowl, and they wouldn’t let the parents sit at the dining table. One day, the wife noticed that her four-year-old son was sawing a piece of wood and asked him what he was doing. The son replied, "I’m making a wooden bowl so I can feed you when you get old." The couple was shocked and immediately replaced the wooden bowl with a porcelain one for their parents, never daring to be unkind to them again. This story serves as a warning to young parents.