Small wins depend on wisdom, big wins depend on virtue.

Author: Zhong Shi
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-04-01
Features: Forgiving Your Enemies
When it comes to enemies, many people sharpen their knives, hating them with a passion. Opponents make you uneasy, and enemies make you resentful. You always want to take revenge on your rivals. But the harm revenge inflicts on you is greater than the harm you inflict on your enemies. The desire for revenge against your enemies fills you with anger and narrow-mindedness, leading you to say things filled with rage. Medically speaking, long-term hypertension and heart disease will follow like shadows, accompanying you through a life of suffering. Your heart is filled with anger, and your limbs are overflowing with it, leaving neither your heart nor your limbs with the determination and pursuit of ideals. Success in your career will be far off.
"As Jiu Er said, 'Why did you have to be born when you did?' Anyone who has read Romance of the Three Kingdoms knows that the brilliant Zhou Gongjin was so angered by his rival Zhuge Liang that he cried out in frustration, spat blood, and died, leaving behind the fake mourning play Zhuge Liang Mourns. What benefit does hatred bring? What benefit does anger bring? It only harms yourself and makes your enemy happy. 'To be consumed by anger for your enemy is to burn yourself.' Therefore, in the Bible, Jesus encourages people to 'love your enemies,' 'Love your enemies, be kind to those who hate you; Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who persecute you.' My hometown friend—a devout Christian—has thus gained the rare inner peace and tranquility that few people in the world possess. He once argued for his faith, 'The injustices others impose on me are all attempts to make me angry. Why should I disrupt the peace given to me by the Lord? So, the Lord told me to treat hatred and injustice with indifference, and the soul will ascend to heaven.' Indeed, one can always see a serene and peaceful expression on his face, his skin smooth, fair, and pure.
Treating others with less hostility can ease your relationship with them, thereby establishing mutual respect and friendship. Xiao Zhang is the kind of person who finds flaws in mincemeat. He is never strict with himself but always lenient with others, making everyone seem inferior to him, and those who work with him seem to have always suffered his criticism and blows. Therefore, living in the same room with him and enduring his 'strict reprimands' often left me with a sense of resentment, and I even harbored thoughts of revenge. To be honest, it was easy to find faults with him, but I didn’t. I invited him for a drink. After a few cups, I sincerely thanked him: 'The criticism you gave me once made me very angry, because your criticisms always exaggerated the facts. I even thought of taking revenge on you, but afterly analyzing it, I realized that your criticism showed that I must have shortcomings in that area, and it made me see the aspects of myself that needed improvement. I truly feel that in the year we’ve been together, I have grown a lot. Therefore, I don’t think I should hate you but rather thank you for our time together!' Of course, he felt a bit embarrassed, and my sincere words clearly conveyed my mindset of gradually forgiving his 'excessive criticism.' Thus, we rebuilt our mutual respect and friendship.
In American elections, opponents attack each other, even damaging each other’s reputations, yet some still hold important positions in the cabinets of their rivals. This offers an insight into how to conduct oneself and handle relationships. The person who can become your opponent is