The Most Effective Way to Speak - A Collection That Influences Your Whole Life - Classic Eloquence (Treasure Edition)

Author: Wang Guangyao
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-05-01
Features: Don't publicly criticize others' faults
If you bluntly point out someone's mistake, not only will you not achieve the desired effect, but you will also cause significant harm. Criticizing others not only deprives them of their self-esteem but also makes you an unpopular person.
"!" A beautiful little glass cup fell to the ground and shattered. The kindergarten children, who were playing together, stopped their game and looked at Aunt Wang, then at the "culprit" Lanlan. No one dared to speak. Seeing this, Aunt Wang paused for a moment, smiled, and said, "Children, we should be careful when playing games. Let's not break toys from now on, okay?"
"Okay—" The children all said in unison and then jumped and skipped back to their game.
After school, Lanlan found Aunt Wang and said tearfully, "Aunt Wang, you're so nice. Unlike my mom, who always scolds me. I won't break anything again." Aunt Wang saw this and quickly wiped away her tears, stroking her little face gently. She said warmly, "Lanlan, you're a good, obedient child. How could Aunt Wang ever scold you? Besides, you weren't careful today. If you pay attention in the future, you won't make mistakes like this."
From then on, Lanlan really didn't break anything anymore, and neither did the other children.
When we make mistakes, we admit them to ourselves. If others handle the situation gently, we also admit our faults and even feel that being straightforward is honorable. But if they publicly criticize others' faults, they will escalate the situation and hurt each other's feelings. It's better to handle things like Aunt Wang did! This way, the other person will be grateful to you for upholding their self-esteem, and at the same time, you are encouraging them to correct their mistakes. This is also an indirect way of handling problems, giving the other person a chance to adjust.
Boston was a safety coordinator at an engineering company, and one of his responsibilities was to ensure that workers on the construction site wore hard hats. Whenever he encountered someone without a hard hat, he would lecture them in a condescending tone about not following company regulations. Although the employees accepted his instructions, they were deeply unhappy and often took off their hard hats after he left. So he decided to stop criticizing.
When he noticed someone without a hard hat, he would ask if it was uncomfortable to wear or if there was anything unsuitable about it. Then, in a pleasant tone, he would remind them that wearing a hard hat was to protect themselves from injury and suggest that they always wear it while working. As a result, more and more employees started following the rules and wearing hard hats, without creating resentment or dissatisfaction.
The person being criticized will always blame others and never reflect on their own mistakes. In fact, everyone has this flaw. So, when you want to criticize someone, consider these real-life examples. You will discover one thing: the person you want to criticize, whether they are at fault or not, will stubbornly argue, make excuses for their actions, and even lash out with harsh words. No matter how you point out someone's mistake—whether it's a disdainful look, an impatient tone, or an annoyed gesture—you may face embarrassing consequences.