Psychological Health Encyclopedia - (Revised Edition)

Author: Zhu Yuelong
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-03-01
Features: Research has found that only 5% of people worldwide meet health standards, while over 75% are in a state between health and disease, known as the "sub-health state." The main factor leading to this state is precisely psychological issues. Research has found that only 5% of people worldwide meet health standards, while over 75% are in a state between health and disease, known as the "sub-health state." The main factor leading to this state is precisely psychological issues. The five key features of this book are simplicity, comprehensiveness, breadth, authority, and effectiveness. The entire book uses simple cases to let readers experience psychology through vivid examples, appreciate the charm of psychology, and thus spark interest and establish a systematic understanding of psychology. The book covers most of the practical content in psychology, benefiting both professionals and non-professionals.
Section on Comparison Psychology
There was once a humorous poem that went like this:
"The world is full of inequalities,
Some ride fine horses, while I ride a donkey.
Looking back, I see a man pushing a cart,
Neither better nor worse than I."
Bill Gates, the world's wealthiest person, also said: "Life is inherently unequal." Since inequality exists, the gap between people becomes evident in comparisons. Looking at others and comparing them to oneself often leads to resentment and melancholy, robbing oneself of a good mood.
Where does comparison come from?
Some families are wealthy and live in luxury, while others have empty cupboards and meager supplies. Some hold great power, commanding the winds and rains, while others toil and speak cautiously. Some own mansions, luxury cars, and beautiful wives, while others have plain wives, small plots of land, and worn-out cotton clothes. The same life, different lifestyles, often evoke many reflections in people's hearts. If one compares with those better off and takes them as a role model, learning from others, that is naturally a good thing. Through comparison, one recognizes their shortcomings and works to improve and correct them—such comparisons are indeed meaningful.
However, the problem is that after seeing others' strengths, people often don't start by learning and working hard but instead complain endlessly about themselves, even believing they are good for nothing.
Psychologist's Notes
A patient worked as a civil servant in a government agency, living a quiet and contented life. One day, he received an invitation to a high school reunion. After ten years apart, he went with joy.
At the reunion, his former classmate, a successful businessman, lived in a mansion, drove a luxury car, and exuded an air of accomplishment. After the gathering, the patient felt bitter and changed. He sighed all day, complaining to everyone about his troubles. He thought: "That classmate always failed exams, yet he has so much money. I'll never be able to afford a Mercedes, no matter how long I save." His colleagues tried to comfort him: "We work in offices; if we have money, we don't need to buy cars." But he remained gloomy. Before psychological treatment, his heartache even led him to bedridden.
Sometimes, seeing others' weddings with cars lining the streets and flowers blooming like the sea, he felt wronged about his own past—just a few pounds of fruit and sugar, hastily marrying his husband. Seeing others' promotions and luxurious lifestyles while he remained stagnant, like a hibernating bear at home, filled him with sorrow. During holidays, seeing others' lavish gifts while his own home was "quiet on the Western Front" and "quiet on the Don," he grew envious. Seeing others' children excel while his own was stubborn and lacking ambition, he felt resentful.
Some even envy celebrities, seeing them surrounded by flowers and applause all day, thinking they are free from suffering. In reality, misfortune knows no north or south; celebrities have pains unseen or unfeared by ordinary people. In daily life, who doesn't show only their shining side? As the saying goes: "Comparing people kills the spirit." In truth, comparing people isn't the issue; it's those who get angry from comparisons due to their own character flaws and inferiority complexes.
Sometimes, if one steps back, they realize many things in life don't need to be taken too seriously. If one does, it only leads to self-torture with no positive outcome. Life's differences are everywhere, and the desire to compare is so hard to overcome, often taking a toll on happiness. But if people adopt a different mindset, avoiding focusing only on their weaknesses while comparing to others' strengths, feeling utterly inferior—how exhausting is that? Lowering one's gaze, learning to look down, and comparing downward can bring more joy and contentment to life.
Campus Comparison Culture
The Ningbo Evening News published an article titled "Luxury Spending Among University Students Surprises People," reporting that students now spend over 1,000 yuan per month. Some students admit that some expenses are unnecessary, like dining out with friends. A university student said: "I don't want to spend so much, but when others treat me to meals, I can't refuse!"
Once, a student saw others had bought smartphones and felt ashamed he didn't have one, so he asked his parents for money to buy a 1,000-yuan phone. At the time, his parents were living on laid-off wages, struggling to supplement the family income with odd jobs. In reality, buying a smartphone or dining out offers little help to students. With the increasingly severe job market, students who develop extravagant spending habits in school will struggle to adapt to the harsh realities of society.
Warning Against Children's Comparison Psychology
Which parent doesn't love their child, want them to dress better and trendier than others? Some parents are reluctant to fall behind others and try to satisfy their children's every desire. With improving living standards, parents can now provide material foundations for children to compare. Today, comparison psychology exists to varying degrees in both primary and university students.
Some compare material wealth, such as whose clothes are brand-name, whose pencil cases are fancy, or who spends money more freely. Others compare family backgrounds, like whose house is bigger, whose is higher-end, whose parents hold higher positions, have more money, or own better cars, or whose household items are more luxurious. Some compare appearances, achievements, or who teachers favor.
A young boy often cried about not wanting to go to school. His mother asked why and learned his classmate had a beautiful backpack, while he had an old one left by his older brother. His mother promised to buy him a new one to coax him into school. A few days later, the boy refused again because his classmate now had an expensive robot toy, and he didn't. The loving mother, with no choice, bought another new backpack.
Psychologist's Reminder
Children's comparison psychology...