Patient's question:
I have been married to my husband for 8 years, but in the past two years, I've always felt that our relationship has declined. It seems that everything changed after he completed his training, got promoted, and received a higher salary. I had two children before, and during the postpartum period after giving birth, he wasn't good to me. He even blamed me for not feeding the children well. I only improved after I spoke to him about it. During that time, he also made sure to look at my episiotomy scar. Last year, I had an abortion, and after that, he seemed to treat me less well than before. For example, when we chat, he often says "big" or "three" words, and after we have sex, he says he feels comfortable but falls asleep immediately and starts snoring. His snoring seems to imply that he's not comfortable. Because of him, I vaguely remember him saying after we got married that when I run out of money, we'll break up, and you won't find another wife. Besides saying that sons are better than daughters, he also told me, "You'll see." Now, when I recall all the things he said, it seems like he's fulfilling his own expectations. A few days ago, we had an argument, and he was driving erratically, saying he might as well die. Is he trying to control me and make me do everything he wants, only to find a mistress and live with her?Doctor's answer:
When two people spend a long time together, they will have many conflicts. These conflicts accumulate over time, and the relationship will be worn down significantly. So, the problems between you are not just one person's issue; it might be more about his problems. Be more forgiving, and make sure you have your own training, life, and friends. Don't isolate yourself at home, or you will create more conflicts and a greater sense of distance. If the two of you cannot progress together and no longer have mutual support, many problems will arise again.