Love once, or many times.

Author: Zhao Mei
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2006-01-01
Features: When she was reminiscing about her husband, she didn’t know that his hand had reached out to another woman’s breast at that very moment. It could have been out of the need for friendship, but it could also have been driven by desire. He might have said many loving things about the other woman. He said, “No man in the world loves her as much as I do.” The other woman later realized that it was something all men claimed to say. She just didn’t feel it at the time. Because she was then lost in the confusion of love. She thought those words were so profound and touching. It wasn’t until many years later, when she reread her old diary, that she discovered another man had said similar things. He said, “Can anyone love you as much as I do?” Remember, no matter how good a man you meet in the future, they will never value you as much as I do. The woman was utterly lost back then. She thought that was the end of her love. Years later, when she reread those diaries, she said the man who said those words would always be someone she cherished. Although she might never see him again in her lifetime, they were so close. It shows that love never has an end. The problem is, thirty days after her husband left, she unexpectedly discovered she was pregnant. It was the result of that tender and passionate night. It was the man’s joy. So the wife panicked. Her body grew more uncomfortable each day. She had so many things to do. She didn’t want a child. She didn’t know what was happening. They hadn’t been careful during their intimacy. Life was now inside the woman’s body. This was the woman’s sorrow—the sorrow of giving birth physically. Why must the woman’s body endure life, endure it growing day by day? It was like a foreign object placed in her belly, nourished by her body. While the man ran off after his pleasure, leaving no responsibility behind. Life was born from the man’s joy, but the woman had to pay the price of ten long months of no joy. The new life made the woman feel as if she were on her deathbed. She couldn’t even take medicine to ease the pain in her body. She had to let that life invade her. Her body began to naturally carry that life, vomiting, dizzy, increasing the burden on her heart, her breasts swelling and aching day by day. Her own life was being squeezed by the new life imposed by another man. And yet, she had lost all desire. She hated the man. When the doctor confirmed her pregnancy, the wife began to desperately search for her husband. She called all over the country, just wanting to tell him she wouldn’t keep the child. Although it was their child, and they had once longed for it. Because she was going abroad to be a visiting scholar. A rare opportunity, especially for a woman who wanted to study. How could she give up her future for a child as small as a seed? She wanted to find her husband, just to explain why she didn’t want to be a mother for now. She hoped he would come back quickly to accompany her for an abortion. She had heard that the procedure to end a weak life was very painful and was forbidden by the Catholic Church, which believed it was no different from murder. So she was very frightened and hoped someone would be with her. But at that time, her husband was traveling all over the country, always in a hurry.