Modern Liaozhai

Author: Yu Shaolei
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-09-01
Features: Haha Mirror Liu returned from his travels and went home. The first thing he did was go to the bathroom—people get older, and the excretory system always plays tricks. He rushed to finish urinating and then washed his hands in front of the mirror. There was a person in the mirror. A person standing sideways. The person was staring at him foolishly. Of course, it was himself, but when did the mirror become a haha mirror? In the mirror, his body was so wide that it filled both sides, and his head was as big as a flat pumpkin—how is that possible? The mirror was perfectly normal when he left home! He ran downstairs and looked at the full-length mirror in front of the community building—In the mirror, he was thin like a mummy! Could it be that his eyes were the problem? Liu recalled that when visiting Fengdu Ghost City, he had (unstable) steps and stumbled, hitting his head on a pillar. At the time, he didn’t feel much pain, but could a light bump have damaged his optic nerve? Liu entered the eye hospital, but for some reason, the usually bustling hospital was empty of patients. Before even registering, a doctor whose face was barely visible under a mask and hat waved at him, and he followed the doctor into the examination room.
"What’s wrong with your eyes?" The doctor’s voice seemed to come straight from the mask. "Doctor, I’ve noticed that whenever I look in a mirror, it’s all distorted!" The doctor handed Liu a small razor mirror. When Liu looked in it, his lips in the mirror were like two big sausages. He said, "Even this small mirror is the same." The doctor then handed Liu a rectangular mirror. When Liu looked in it, he excitedly said, "Strange, this mirror looks perfectly normal to me, not at all distorted!" The doctor pressed the mirror against his face and shouted loudly, "Take a good look! This is your death certificate! You’re already dead!" Liu yelled, "Impossible! I’m perfectly fine, how can you say I’m dead!" The doctor sneered, "When you were in power, you always cracked jokes, so now that you’re dead, all your reflections in the mirror are distorted. When you’re completely rotten, you’ll see everything in the world twisted." "Someone, carry him to the morgue!"
Just as he said that, two nurses came in carrying a stretcher. Liu turned to run, but he had no strength in his body at all. He shouted loudly, "I don’t want to die! I still have—"