Painful Youth -- Them. Blue Emotions

Author: Zhang Yuoran
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-01-01
Features: Reading the works of authors born in the 1980s in quiet. Their words are like tiny, unknown creatures, one by one, taking me far away. In the countless subtle forests of words, I hear the inner voices of the 80s generation, touch and experience them with my hands, and I feel: the pain of youth. No matter how the 80s generation claims to have begun aging at sixteen, their time is still youth, though they have added many layers of meaning to it. Wandering through the space of their words, feeling the subtle tremors in their hearts, I recall the blue of French painter Yves Klein, that blue, that unforgettable monochromatic blue. And there's the film《Blue》by Polish director Krzysztof Kieslowski, filled with calls for freedom, equality, and brotherhood. A hue leaks from the words of the 80s generation—pure blue, melancholic blue, intense blue, spreading everywhere. The 80s generation chooses the blue of the sky and the sea. The pain of the 80s generation is blue. That hollow blue, that hollow pain, drifts in the sky. From their resilient words, I read their efforts, starting from within. They set off. My understanding of them is contradictory. On one hand, they have distinct personalities, differing from those born in other eras in both life views and writing styles. On the other hand, many of them also share common feelings. The 80s generation is the only one who never forgot to breathe. They listen to the breath of their inner selves, feeling every scent lingering in the air, drifting farther and farther. Some say the 80s generation is selfish. They say, "We don't feel pain." They have already grown up, and before reaching maturity, pain had turned into numbness. When they try to express it, they realize pain is far more complex than their words can convey. Unconsciously, they use fixed terms like "depressed, old, melancholic, dizzy" to describe their pain. They are a generation that doesn't want to say too much. I see their blue hallucinations. Their ability to create illusions is extraordinary. From memory to old age, from ancient myths to the unknown of tomorrow. They resist the conspiracy of concrete and steel, in today's materialized and digital world, where everything appears to be progressing according to a time program. Many say the 80s generation has everything. They open their palms, yet find them empty. The youth of Han Han, Xiao Fan, Li Shazi, Gan Shijia, Liu Weidong, Shui Ge, Hei Caotian, Youzou, Wu Jianxiong, Hou Haijun, Hu Yufeng, Xia Yu Ci, Xu Zechen, Guo Zhan Wu Gou, Ma Niu, Gong Xiaobing, Tian He evaporates in memory, the sky gathering in pain's blue. I feel their blue emotions. This is an early-aging generation, a youth that ages early, a youth that hurts, rooted in their hearts. Numbness flows like an ice peak, settling in the forest of the city. The earth is awake, but they are cold. They say, numbness itself is a great pain. Zhang Yuoran, Chun Shu, Mo Xiao Xie, Jiang Fangzhou, Xiaohua, Dong Wenying, Zuo Cha, Ren Xiaowen, Xing Na, Xiaoxin Gan'er, Xiu La, Zi Xi, Ang Yunhong, Dong Xiaqingqing, Liu Xiaolei, Yi Zi, Tan Shao Liang, Li Meng, Yan Ge, Long Nü's blue emotions are delicate, their pain rendered carelessly, spreading endlessly.