Sign a marriage contract once a year

Author: Liu Qi
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-05-01
Features:
Articles, hello! I am your author, don’t laugh! I know I’m talking nonsense. After living together for so long, who doesn’t know who? But now, I have a new task, a new duty—I’ve become the leader, to organize all of you into a book, or rather, into a team, to participate in a parade. A parade needs formations, so we’ll arrange ourselves based on the titles of the articles. We are a group of teams, so we can be a bit free. The short and uneven titles in the book, as well as the authors they represent, can form various formations. Below, is one temporary arrangement—I，，，，. On-site, the leader made a remark: sign a marriage contract once a year, let the unqualified lead the qualified. Embassies, consulates, bars. Girls, watching male ballet, Egyptian skits, our song. Shenyang’s Chinatown, movie party, horror films. The inspection team sent by heaven, Yingge Lishi, scratch! Clear era, Bixiao, everyone, remember the, the people I respected in the last century, the little gray donkey, integrity, the VIP flower, only dyeing one red nail. Old Zhang, missing home, pickled vegetables, national meat, Cairo bread. Mrs. Wu, visiting West Hills, Pai Luo Mountain, visiting Dazhai, Gushai. From the sky, watching farmers, bronze upper body, white upper body. "Little Magic" concept, essay dreams, new humans nostalgic: Hello, Quèzhīcháo. Beautiful summer, the neighbor’s cat, telling fortunes for Westerners. Discos, white-collar wedding receptions, female white collars and cabbage. Old Ai visits China, Red Guards at the ready. Police’s lunch, catching an Liu Chengxin. Return home tips: style, shower, avoiding the New Year; the gate, clinic, washing the sky; "Personality Dictionary" scenario simulation, quotes, wisdom chip. Shenyang low price, commercial anger, the international harm of buffets, and sweet troubles. Mycologist Anderson, on modern women, on women smoking, women’s world, women celebrating holidays, men suffering. Blue Ridge Night, interpretation of one-night stands, chain countries, trash cans. My major invention: the World Cup is the Dream of the Red Chamber. Global witty remarks: Once a person has a car, they become inferior. There are only two types of people in America, I have three American names. A strange exam: How do Chinese people curse men? Why do Shanghai people annoy people? Should we shoot at the moon? "The Yellow Guest" says, stupidity index, nine diseases of PhD and master’s theses, New York portrait. I became a "Nobel" candidate, drunk black people’s book, modestly and cautiously on the real name network. Looking back, Pusapama. The happiness of the nation is above all, don’t call me a girl! Articles, as the leader, I want to tell you all that we not only participate in the parade but also undergo an inspection. Since it’s an inspection, the team can’t be too disorganized, so we should also have another formation. Well, everyone pay attention, follow my command—Now, gather in order of the number of characters in the titles! The shorter ones in front, the longer ones at the back. Good, there are eight rows, one hundred articles, and the formation is still quite neat. However, the neatness of the formation is not our final goal. A neat formation doesn’t represent the quality of the articles. True, all one hundred of you were carefully selected by me. Ninety of you have appeared in my other books before. To participate in this inspection, you’ve been reworked—some have been slimmed down, some have been added to, and some who were once constrained have been restored to their original form. The other ten articles are newcomers, their first time in the book, marked in bold to distinguish them. This is my first selection of a collection, so don’t get too proud. The spots are limited, the variety is limited, you are the best of the short ones, you must have self-awareness. Now, I have an important question: Who gave us this opportunity to be inspected? Yuelu Book Society, "Brother Culture," and their "Angle" series. Let’s give them a warm round of applause and sincere thanks. I also have an important question: Who inspects us? Not the commander with a rank. Not the high-ranking leader. Not those foolish officials who can be easily fooled with a few good words and think they’ve achieved something. The ones who inspect us have eyes that see through all, passion like fire, hatred for evil like, and hearts as vast as the sea. They are our greatest leader, our truly high commander. They have a great name—the readers. Dear articles, children, don’t panic, don’t be afraid, keep your formation. Be who you are. If there are any flaws or shortcomings, it’s all my fault. After the inspection, based on reader feedback, I will improve with you all. Now, follow my command: Stand at attention! Face the inspectors and salute!