Snowman

Author: Rao Xueman (Compiler) / Country: Mainland China
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-04-01
Features: [Excerpt:] The great, mischievous Rao Xueman always used her real name in chat rooms, even though this habit once led to her being kicked out of her own chat room by an administrator she had appointed. Yet she remained undeterred, stubbornly sticking to it. I guess she did this not just out of laziness, but also a bit of playful mischief: "You're probably wondering, 'Am I a scammer?'? Well, I'm Rao Xueman! The real Rao Xueman! Haha!" This is an exclusive interview with Xu Nuo'er. Forgive me for using simple parallelism in the opening, setting the stage with the "great, mischievous" persona. Xu Nuo'er knew the great, mischievous one through a chat room when she was still in junior high. The great, mischievous one said, "Write a book review for me," and the little girl immediately agreed: "Okay." Years later, Xu Nuo'er recalled her first book review, titled "Telling You," which she wrote on paper. It was quite naive, but Xueman praised her, saying, "It's not bad!" It was after that that she gradually discovered her talent and interest in writing, and she has been writing nonstop ever since. Therefore, when Xu Nuo'er reflects on her relationship with Xueman, she can't help but use the somewhat cliché term "fate." She says, "Back then, I was very wary of the internet, as there were so many scammers online. Yet I ended up meeting the great, mischievous one—truly unbelievable." You must have been surprised back then, right? Of course! I bet the great, mischievous one would have been quite pleased with such a conversation. She loves surprising people. When Xu Nuo'er was about to enter junior high, "Flower Skirts" was founded. Her first piece published on "Flower Skirts" was the book review she wrote for Xueman. Today, she can be considered a founding member. In the meantime, due to some personal reasons, Xu Nuo'er temporarily distanced herself from the internet. However, Xueman published her "Fingertips of Time" on "Flower Skirts," and the encouragement from fellow readers brought her back to the platform, where she began publishing works extensively online. Now, Xu Nuo'er has her own column on "Flower Skirts," and many readers say, "Xu Nuo'er, your writing captures our shared growth experiences, and it's so fluid—truly wonderful." Readers of the "Xueman" series should remember Xu Nuo'er's "B1 of the Yuexiu Metro," a piece of highly ornate writing about love, filled with innocent turmoil. Xu Nuo'er always says her novels aren't very good. During our chat, she shared a newly written novel with me, calling it the second draft. The first draft had been harshly criticized by Xueman, who told her, "With such a great talent, why are you writing such a terrible story? I've told you a million times already—only you are so shameless!" I laughed so hard I nearly fell off my chair. I thought to myself, "Ah, so this is how the great, mischievous one pressures her writers—no wonder these girls are so skilled." But to maintain her image as a kind sister, I comforted her: "Don't worry, you haven't noticed she's actually praising you subtly. Besides, if she criticizes you, I'll praise you to the fullest, so it'll all balance out." As I chatted with her, I also read her new novel, "Sunflower Seeds," about a girl who wants to go to Xinjiang to see sunflower fields with the person she loves. At first, she was worried because she was inventing a story about something she wasn't familiar with, describing a life she had never lived. The plot was bound to be awkward, but Xu Nuo'er used extensive descriptive language, like a sky filled with dark clouds, to mask the flaws, and the story finally took shape. In the end, the girl decides to go to Xinjiang alone to see the vast sunflower fields. She chooses to explore her dreams alone, and at that moment, her life becomes clear. At least, that's how I see it. So, I really want to praise Xu Nuo'er. It might not have anything to do with the story or writing techniques, but what I want to say is, you make people see your thoughts and growth. Many people say Xu Nuo'er's writing is like Anni's, but I've never really agreed with that from the start. Xu Nuo'er has always been a fresh and gentle girl. She uses her words to try to express her own voice and heart. Compared to the carefree Qin Maomao and the cool-short-haired Xiaotian, Xu Nuo'er is a very quiet child. At least online. Xiaotian said, even though everyone was on QQ, Xu Nuo'er rarely spoke. She just quietly wrote, showed her work to others, and shared her thoughts with friends. During this interview, Xu Nuo'er left me with just such an impression—a quiet Nuo'er, always a bit lost in thought when she spoke, her tone always reminiscent of prose. For example, when I asked her, "What does your life look like?" she replied without hesitation: "My prose is my life."
About Your Daily Life
Xu Nuo'er: My daily life is quite ordinary. I go to class, and I enjoy myself more when I'm off. In junior high, I mostly chatted with classmates and did things at school, and time passed quickly. If there's anything different, it would be that I often think about things. I see something and think, or I think while riding the bus, or when I'm daydreaming. I love writing, which might be the most I do. The you that people see and the you in your own mind—do they differ?
Xu Nuo'er: I think they do. People see me as an ordinary, hardworking student who strives to get into my dream university. But I feel I'm a very complex person. As a child, my extroverted personality stood out, and I was always a student leader. After entering junior high, the quieter side of my personality gradually emerged. Especially after starting to write, I became very sensitive and easily melancholic, sometimes quite pessimistic. Normally, I'm still quite cheerful. I'm quieter when writing or online. Besides that, I'm actually very shy and easily embarrassed, and I tend to be insecure. I don't initiate conversations with strangers, and I blush when I meet them. I'm not very confident and rely on others a lot. I have a distant relationship with my family but am deeply emotional. Recently, I went to the UK. Now, after time has filtered things, how do you recall and feel about that trip abroad?
Xu Nuo'er: I really loved the UK. I've never liked anywhere as much as this. Being a duck there made me incredibly happy. Those happy plants made me so envious. Actually, every time I walk a path and look back, I realize I've changed so much compared to then, and it's always the same. Including now, when I look at myself, I see differences I can't put into words compared to before I went abroad. Going to the UK wasn't just a trip for me—it was more about opening my heart and broadening my horizons. At least, it gave me a superficial understanding of this world. Perhaps it also gave me hope for the future. Actually, before high school, I didn't live in the city. I lived in my hometown, a very quiet town. I went to school and grew up there; there were the silhouettes of loved ones; there were Grandma's calls; there were my dear friends; there was my childhood. The city showed me a broader world, but it was also a darker, more desolate, and more disappointing one. Yet it still brought growth. I learned to squeeze onto crowded buses, to quickly navigate through crowds, to stand on zebra crossings and gaze at the pale, gray sky, like a wound. So, I've always dreamed of the day when I could sit by the river again, with the summer evening breeze blowing past, and I could just sit quietly there, in time, with the sparkling river disturbed by my toes, and the sunset silent. How wonderful that would be. Haha, that was like a summer afternoon in Staines. Not just because of expectations from others, but more because of my own need, I've been writing consistently. Why do I write? I write because I love it. I excel at prose, at those ornate phrases and imagery. I've always believed this is a gift and a talent. I don't want to waste it, and I'm overjoyed, so I keep writing. I've always wanted to write something profound, representing the thoughts of a certain group of people, their ununderstandable world. Writing isn't just a way—it should also be a guide, leading people to see different worlds. I hope my writing can reach people's hearts and resonate with them. I hope both my person and my words can bring me joy, and if possible, also bring joy to others.
Who Has Influenced You Most in Writing?
Xu Nuo'er: I remember in seventh grade, on the forum of "Youth Literature," there were many high school writers I admired, like Wuyeju, Huisheng, and others. I loved their writing, and I think my writing started with reading and imitating them. Later, I felt that being too straightforward wasn't enough, so I gave up some direct imitation and began true creation. Maybe from then on, my writing improved greatly. While writing prose, I also wrote many book reviews for Xueman. I've always read her books, even though my style differs from hers, she has helped me a lot, not just in writing. So, I really want to thank her. But when it comes to the writer who influenced me most, I think it's Anni. I still keep her books on my bedside. In junior high, I used to read a bit before bed. I first read Anni's book during the summer vacation of seventh grade, right after I broke up with someone. I read "August Unreconciled," and some of her essays had a great impact on me. Even now, people say my writing has the shadow of Anni. But I think I'm quite different from her—I'm not as brave or sharp as she is. I feel very lucky in writing. There are many talented people without opportunities, and many with opportunities but without talent—both are tragic. It's rare for me to have both. I need someone to hold my hand when I suddenly feel scared.
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