When I met you

Author: Wang Liping
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-04-01
Features: When I Met You is in the style of Shanghai. She writes about various scenarios of urban men and women interacting. These scenes, which we often overlook while navigating the currents of the city, are picked up by Liping like a mischievous child, revealing the funny, adorable, and pitiable aspects hidden in life. She presents a ukiyo-e (ukiyo-e) of a certain group, offering people a new perspective to observe the myriad facets of life. – Wang Meng
A few years ago, I was still working as a reporter for a provincial newspaper. For an event, I called the leader of a certain unit. His wife answered. The questions were as follows—"Why are you looking for him?" "Why call during office hours?" "Why didn’t you ask someone in the office to take the message?" The last question was, "How do you know my home phone number?" I was stunned! Later, I actually became friends with her wife, who was very proud: "You see, without me watching and managing him, could he have stayed in office smoothly? Men are like children—they need to be watched and managed!" Classic! So, later when I encountered any "wife-dominated households," it all seemed normal. I comforted the male colleagues: because of fear, they restrained themselves!
The little boss at my previous workplace was a very nice person, but he loved to play and gamble. He often came to my place, enjoying losing small amounts, as he called it, "losing everything in the Four Treasuries"—which were the prize money, writing fees, subsidies, and holiday allowances. Of course, this was exaggerated and humorous. However, what was annoying was that as soon as it was 10 p.m., no matter how much he was enjoying himself, he would reflexively stand up, take out a small envelope, solemnly put in 50 yuan, pat his chest, and jokingly say to everyone, "Wife, this interview unit is great! They gave us transportation expenses! Here—"
Later, I bumped into his wife at a supermarket, and I felt a bit guilty. I nervously said, "I’ve been doing a lot of interviews lately"—just as she burst out laughing. "I know all his tricks. Could I be that naive? Not exposing it is better for him to keep being afraid." Haha, there are always stronger ones! And it’s quite satisfying too—when a man is afraid of you, it means he cares about you. So, women who are feared by their husbands are quite pleased.
My several female friends are very "strict" with their husbands, and they often exchange tips and experiences to "fight back," never tiring of it. Life, therefore, becomes colorful and full of fun. It’s very common for the wife to ask, "Who is it when the phone rings? Male or female?" If the husband doesn’t come home for dinner, she’ll demand to know, "Who are you with? Who else? Should I say something to them?" The man sweats profusely! If he’s not back by 11 p.m., she’ll call again to track him down: "Where are you?" She mentally calculates the distance and gently "pinches" him: "Oh, you’re coming home in another quarter-hour!" The husband then panics for a quarter-hour, after which he returns obediently. This is actually quite adorable—how can one endure a bit of suffering for peace and stability? Many men aren’t really afraid of their wives; they’re just afraid of nagging, worrying, suspicion, and endless complaints. So, when a "great man" is "trapped" by you, everything is peaceful!
I’ve also seen some who don’t "budge." One day, I was getting a haircut at a salon, and the owner was busy. The owner’s wife was nagging beside her. The owner couldn’t stand it anymore and exploded, "A lioness’s roar!" The owner’s wife froze for a second, then suddenly grabbed the hair clippers and dashed out! At the door, there was the owner’s newly bought motorcycle! The owner yelled, "Go ahead, cut it! Cut it! You dare!" In minutes, the salon was silent! How would the owner’s wife deal with the newly acquired, bone-jarring motorcycle? There were at least N versions: letting the tires go flat, breaking the chain, smashing the handlebars, piercing the seat, or even just knocking it over—women can be ruthless when they want to. However, to my surprise, the owner’s wife, the owner’s wife, held the hair clippers in one hand and the motorcycle license plate in the other! Haha—I gasped. May I ask: without a license plate, can you still drive? "I am your license plate!"—a masterstroke!