Happiness in heart

Author: Nanbei
Publisher:
Publish Date: 2005-01-01
Features: There is no path in the world that wasn't walked by people. There is no Guanyin who can save all suffering and difficulties—Guanyin is yourself. Happiness and joy should belong to those who have unwavering faith and understand the path before them. As long as we truly recognize the meaning of life and do not make the pursuit of fame and fortune the purpose of our lives, then happiness has already come to me. No, it is in your heart. Then, you are someone who has been connected with happiness. When something happens, whether it is good or bad, no one can fully determine its exact meaning. Because every event has two sides. Just like the two sides of a coin, it doesn't matter which side is up or down, but rather what you see or what you want to see. A simple process is a process of enlightenment. The greatest truth is simplicity, and a healthy life is one that constantly simplifies. Simplicity brings peace and joy, and isn't joy the ultimate goal we pursue?
That was a Sunday afternoon, around 4 o'clock, when my eyes, which had been fixed on the computer screen, were suddenly caught by a bright light. Looking up, I realized it was sunlight, golden and warm. Haha, the long, gloomy, and damp week finally ended that evening, and the "dogs of Shu" could finally "bark at the sun" again. Almost at the same moment I saw the golden light, a thought jumped into my mind: how would the monks of Zhaojue Temple look and what would their scene be in this rare sunset? Would they walk under the evening glow during the evening bell? As soon as this thought arose, I no longer had the heart to continue my "meditation" in front of the computer. So, I turned off the computer, got dressed, and went out. At the bus stop in front of the community gate, I hopped onto a bus heading to Zhaojue Temple to seek the answer.
The bus wandered through familiar or unfamiliar streets, and I saw the faces of the people on the street, all flushed red by the setting sun. An hour later, I stood in a pavilion connecting the mountain gate and the Mahavira Hall of Zhaojue Temple. I love this temple—not because I have any special connection with it, but simply because I love its vastness and tranquility. Of course, what I like even more is its distance from the city edge, neither too close nor too far, offering a sense of closeness and space for imagination. The sun was about to set but had not fully descended. Almost exactly as I imagined, I heard the evening bell and saw bhikkhus in yellow robes walking along the shaded path toward the Mahavira Hall, bathed in ten thousand shades of evening glow. In the pavilion next to me stood several devotees, all with their hands clasped and silently reciting their heart sutras. I saw an elderly bhikkhu walk over, and I greeted him with a smile. The old bhikkhu immediately responded, saying, "Namo Amitabha!" Faintly, I felt his voice was very familiar—like a friend, or like the father who passed away in my childhood. But I knew he was just a stranger, a bhikkhu, and his Buddhist name was merely a reply to my smile, a greeting to me. He was just saying, "Haha, you're doing well too!" But this voice later followed me, spreading in my room, seeping into my dreams and writing. I knew I was a person on a path. All the problems that arose on this path would also be found on this path. I couldn't be someone who studies until their hair turns white, and I would try my best to refuse to peddle common sense and words. I believe in a call and awakening from within. This awakening comes from the suffering of the body and spirit, from the longing and yearning for happiness and joy. I am increasingly inclined to speak of joy and happiness, which should be related to the transformation within me.
From childhood, the years were filled with hardships, unavoidable. But precisely because of the hardships, I felt I had a reason and basis to speak of happiness and joy. It's a bit like people digging for water in the desert. A person must confirm the role they play in their journey, and sometimes this can be quite difficult. Naturally, I began to confirm my role in this difficult situation. I have walked many paths that now seem unnecessary. But a person must walk in the direction of time—a one-way journey, where every footprint behind you cannot be turned back to be decorated or modified. I began to seriously distinguish what was different about me from others. I think that what is different from others should be the land I can plant. I began to take another path when poetry and reality were about to lead me to the brink. I started reading a Zen-inspired book called "Journey to the Buddhist Realm." In that book, first, I understood the close relationship between life and death. Second, I saw the eternal impermanence of things. Finally, I realized I must persuade myself to overcome useless cynicism and begin to record with my hands some feelings of goodness and beauty in my heart, and paint a random wave in my mind. In this regard, I feel I have almost succeeded. Because I know that Namo Amitabha is actually just a greeting.
Nanbei
December 21, 2004
Chengdu