Patient's question:
My son is 13 years old and in the first year of junior high school. He has always been a child without a strong sense of direction. When he was younger, we thought it was normal for boys to be energetic and mischievous, as they are still young and don't understand much. We hoped that things would improve as he grew older, but now that he is 13, we don't feel he is very filial. Instead, he seems even more difficult to manage. We thought he might be entering a rebellious phase, but he doesn't fit the traditional definition of a rebellious child. His teachers also say he isn't rebellious. However, his current behavior is that he can't sit still during tutoring sessions, keeps looking around, gets up whenever he feels like it, speaks up when he wants to, and often tells jokes. He frequently does many things that are hard to understand and inappropriate for his age. No matter how much his teachers scold or encourage him, he doesn't care. Even if his teachers and classmates mock or bully him, he remains indifferent. He has no sense of unity or discipline, and basically no self-esteem. At home, he sometimes shouts for no reason, speaks loudly, and sings loudly. In the mornings, when he comes downstairs to go to school, he often sings loudly, completely unaware of what he is doing.Doctor's answer:
As the saying goes, "Judge a child at three, and you'll know him at thirty." If you sense something is not quite right when the child is young, you should pay close attention and address it actively. However, at that time, you might have thought that growing up would solve the problem, so you relaxed, and the child became willful and self-absorbed. In reality, it's important to establish the concept of rules before the child turns three, so they understand what is acceptable and what is not. The symptoms he is showing now are complete self-centeredness and a disregard for others. The child is now 13 years old, and it's a bit late to set rules, but it's crucial to adjust him as soon as possible. I suggest you find a teenage psychologist to develop several plans and work hard to bring about improvement.