Patient's question:
My baby is two years old. He only started daycare in the past few months. He was always taken care of by a nanny since he was young, but now he has been at daycare for three months! Every day, he cries when I take him to school and doesn't want to go! He starts crying as soon as he wakes up, saying he doesn't want to go to daycare! He only stops crying after he gets to daycare. But he doesn't cry at daycare! He also rarely plays with others! However, he is very mischievous at home! Why is this happening? Is there any way to solve it?Doctor's answer:
Hello! It's a normal phenomenon, a state of adaptation loss for young children when they lose a sense of security. The psychological need for safety is the top priority (even adults feel uncomfortable in unfamiliar environments), so when such a small baby suddenly leaves the familiar family members who provide him with a sense of security, he may experience fear, anxiety, and other negative emotions. To vent these emotions and express his dissatisfaction and grievances to his family, he adopts the only way of expression suitable for his age—crying. Crying is beneficial for him as it releases inner pressure and alleviates negative emotions. Every little baby goes through this process, but the impact on the baby varies across different family environments, and the adaptation period has individual differences. As he becomes familiar with the kindergarten environment, teachers, and classmates, his fear will gradually diminish.Please remember, never give in to him because he cries. Your compromise may seem like you're caring for him, but it's actually harming him. If you do so, he may develop a habit of using crying as a means to manipulate you, to avoid the uncomfortable environment and temporarily satisfy his psychological need for security. The most severe outcome could be the loss of his adaptability, leading to lifelong social phobia.
However, you can take some measures to help him adapt to kindergarten life more quickly, such as: comforting him with hugs when picking him up, praising and rewarding his performance at kindergarten once his emotions stabilize, etc. The joy, pride, and happiness he gains from your encouragement and praise will gradually diminish and replace his fear, contributing to the development of a good character.