Patient's question:
I don't know if it's because of the little baby, but the three-year-old big baby has been a bit mischievous lately. How should I teach a three-and-a-half-year-old child? She sometimes dislikes going against adults and always says no. If she's told to go east, she tends to go west, and when she gets angry, she even hits people.Doctor's answer:
It's never good to lose one's temper at any time. If adults lose their temper at her, she will develop the habit of losing her temper with others. Discussing matters is about discussing matters; there's no need to get angry. Scared children either become overly stubborn or overly withdrawn, and neither is good, right? Give her more affirmation.Put yourself in her shoes. Her parents were originally all hers, but suddenly, the majority of the love she had been receiving began to go to others. She can only understand this in a weakened state without getting an answer—how would that feel?
Put yourself in her shoes again. She is still a child, and sometimes she may dislike her younger siblings, but when she needs care and is ignored, what would happen? If we think about how we would feel, we would understand the child better, wouldn't we?
Advice:
1. Provide her with frequent answers so she understands what's going on.
2. Focus on observing and caring for her impartially.
3. A better approach is to involve her in completing many tasks together—hers, her younger siblings', and her parents'—so she feels a sense of belonging.
When she everything is unchanged, her perception changes, her mood changes, and her behavior will change too. The child is not at fault; what we call "wrong" is the conclusion we draw by measuring the child with our own standards, which is unfair to her, right? It leads to negative outcomes.
If we think about ourselves, we'll understand the child better. Once we understand the child, we'll focus more on caring for and helping her, rather than "managing" or "fixing" her, right? What the child gains is what she will give to others in the future—respect, affirmation, appreciation, encouragement. These are what the child truly needs.
The above advice is for the question "How to deal with a 38-year-old baby's stubbornness." I hope it helps you. Wishing you good health!